(rendered into English by Dr. Sista Shanta)
(continued from the previous issue)
Song: 45
The effulgence that cannot be comprehended”
This song is composed in Vinukonda in the month of September 1963. I took four days (9th to 12th) to complete it.
Oh mind! do you know that there is an
effulgence that cannot be comprehended?”
This question is asked by the mind. If it says, yes, immediately the mind contradicts it and says no. The Telugu word “Bhamani” means effulgence – “Deevyate iti daivaha” – God is effulgence. According to Dr. Prasadaraya Kulapati of the purvashrama and the present pontiff of Sidheswari Peetham, Mother is Mahadevi and one can have her darshan only when one has the yogic vision. He questioned “Did you ever touch the feet of Mother of Jillellamudi?” He emphatically declared “when one touches her holy feet one is liberated and will experience beatitude and will not be born again.”
The actions that we perform are not done by our will, they take place because of a strong force, which can neither be surmounted nor opposed. We obey the decision unquestioningly – is the wisdom that has been imparted by Mother. This is my experience, my firm conviction.
Also this mysterious power is none other than Mother herself is my fervent belief, “Mother is the one who prompts and influences all our thoughts and actions, be they good or bad, profitable or otherwise, whether it causes happiness or misery. “Avunante Kaadanta” We think we are the doers. We believe that a person has to be actively performing a deed. (belief in self effort “Adi Kaadanta” that is not it. All actions take place because of the will of irresistible, unseen power. The actions take place whether we like it or not. We have no choice.
“Kaadante Avunanta” – “When we admit that we are not the doers these hands are not ours, Mother confirms it.” I make you perform, act according to my wish but make you feel that you are acting according to your wish” is her explanantion. “Mother! what is Maya?” Her unequivocal declaration is “to think I am the doer”. When you are not actually the doer, What ultimately happens is that though an individual is not the actual doer, he thinks he is the doer.
“With unique figures of speech
with melodies phrases used in a rhythmic way
Treating life itself as a poem.
Considering whatever I thought is correct, I compose
“But when I dedicate it to you
You will evaluate it. The effulgence that cannot be comprehended” This is the first stanza.
“Mother! I am composing a melodious poem. This metrical composition possess all the necessary qualities like suitable figures of speech, musical phrases, with apt words that cannot be substituted. This composition is an amazing poetic sculpture. What ever I conceived is the right concept. As you are the presiding deity of all knowledge, when I dedicate this work to you, you will scrutinise it. You know the merits and demerits of it. Anyway it is you who made me write this. For that matter it is you who wrote it. I wrote my name as the author for the song which you wrote and I am dedicating it to you. Everyone is under the impression that Raju (myself) composed it and dedicated it to Mother. The waves of a lake can never leave the lake and move away.
Sri Annamacharya in his song said:
‘Oh! Thousand named Vishnu!
You make me sing various songs
In praise of you, residing on my tongue
Knowing well that it is not because of my abitlity I sing
But because you have bestowed me and blessed me with the capacity to praise you’
This is the absolute truth about me too.
‘To show the meaning as in a mirror
Bestowing life to life force itself
Showing the universal soul, the individual soul
You come in my dream and inform me that you have come
If you bless me I shall visualise you within II’
II The effulgence that cannot be comprehended II
This is the second stanza.
“Arthaaniki Addam Choopi” – to show the meaning as in a mirror means to make me understand the true meaning. “Pranaaniki Jeevam posi” – bestowing life to life itself – to hold a torch to show the sun God. –
“Paramatmaku aatmanu choopi” – showing the individual soul to the universal soul to the all pervading Atman how does one show the jeevatma (individual soul)? i.e. when the individual soul is a part and a particle of the universal soul how can it be separated? How does one surrender one self?
The above three statements are viewed with a limitation. “Mother! you will not actually be present physically. You cannot come (This is my previous experience) either in a dream or in reality (again this is my previous experience). If you really come you must let me know and explain “I have come dear. I have chosen this mode to come. Only then will I be able to see you and when you bless I will experience it within.
“Beautifying what is already beautiful
Placing a canopy over an already pretty object
Adding perfume to the cool waters
Cleansing the life with tears and drying
Such a life I shall accept
If abandoned I shall bear it, Mother’
-The effulgence that cannot be comprehended-
This is the third stanza. The beauty of an already radiant one cannot be enhanced. Nothing can excel God’s creation either in beauty or in excellence. Peacock, Cheeta, Scorpion, Snake, an ant hill or rock or hillock, a leaf, a berry all are endowed with – beauty. The beauty of creation is something that is natural.
Cool water is already pleasant. One need not add any perfume to make it cooler.
You have cleansed the cloth of life with (trials and tribulations) tears and dried it. I am willing to wear that cloth, Mother! i.e., when one goes through difficulties and grieves, one’s life becomes awakened and this you have shown practically in your life. I am prepared to suffer. Please give me suffering and pain.
If you were to think that Raju will not be able to go through difficult situations and set him aside without cleansing me I am prepared to lead a life of inadequacies, a motiveless and purposeless life. I will wear the unwashed robe, considering it as your (Prasadam) blessing.
Here I have to mention a very salient print (“Kanta Vrata Samklishta Maarga Sanchaara Tatpara,” “Asidhaara Vrataachara tatpara”) – one who is bent on moving about in a path full of thorns and difficulties or the one who is bent on walking on the razor’s edge. To walk in the foot prints of Mother is ridiculous and most difficult. It is like courting trouble without realising one’s limitations to face a dangerous situation. There is absolutely no comparison with Mother. But what surprises is Mother’s Statement – ‘I am also like you all’.
Inviting the Creator, Sustainer and Destroyer spreading the platter of togetherness and individuality serving the sweet pudding with a pinch of salt, Honey with a pinch of chilli powder.
“If you cook (such a dish)
I shall take the vessel off the fire and place it on the
Floor
And if you serve (in the plate) I shall distribute”
This is the fourth stanza.
Mother! you have invited the Trinity – the Creator, Sustainer and Destroyer. They are in your presence and you have allocated each one with a duty.. There is nothing that is useless or a waste in your creation. That is your greatness.
The three deities are also your children. They are hungry. You have to feed them and feeding is your favourite Yagna. So you have spread a very large plate. You serve them with your food. But inspite of being in a very large plate they have their individual plates where the food is served.
I said, sweet pudding with a pinch of salt!! It sounds incongruous. While making sugar, a little salt and lime are added. There is a little salt even in jaggery. Otherwise, it is not tasty. Similarly happy and unhappy events go together is the play of life. “Mixing chilli powder in honey” – to appreciate a sweet dish one should taste somethng that is spicy. Sweet and Savoury and salt indicate creation, sustenance and dissolution. When these three are mixed the dish will be enjoyable. Mother! you have to prepare / cook such a sweet pudding.
You cook but when I take the vessel off the fire people think that I have cooked the pudding. When you serve I shall distribute. That is through my songs I am trying to present the essence of your experience. The songs contain your philosophy. You are the essence which I am distributing. This is what is apparent to the world. But actually it is Mother that is distributing. Neither have I cooked nor have I distributed. But everyone thinks Raju has written the song and is sharing it with us.
I neither cooked nor distributed – is what I say. But the opinion is ‘Raju wrote and he is sharing – he is singing it to everyone – this is what is said.
That is why “If yes it means no ‘
If no it means yes” – I said.
(to be continued)