Ancient times do naturally evolve into modern times. The attempts to disown our good traditions and try to own foreign culture and trends result in chaos and distress. The institutional edifice is mutated which results in misfortune. In the hoary Indian tradition, the institution of marriage is a strong and sacred system. It is an integral and vital part of the Indian culture imbued with healthy and civilized norms and directs the course of the society. Two persons hailing from different families and backgrounds living together ideally in wedlock from the time of the marriage is a phenomenon which the world will have to emulate. Amma who is beyond the Dharma of any Asrama and who is worshipped by countless people as a divine being, can not be considered as a mere house wife. She verily represents the elderly figure of Vedic times who unveiled new dimensions in the institution of marriage in modern times.
Definition of the sacred thread (Mangala Sutram)
“To be able to transform the company of the spouse into a divine presence is wedding. That transformation is ‘Parinayam’. ‘Kalyanam’ (marriage) is offering of undefiled mind to another’. The sacred ‘Mangala Sutram’ (thread with the ‘Botlu’ generally of gold, tied by the husband in the marriage) is symbolic of the feet and enables progress to achieve ‘Ardha’ and ‘Kama’. Valuing each other’s views, leading life with moderation, respectfully in a principled way in the spirit of symbiosis is what an ideal married life is.
‘Wife is one who will conduct herself knowing the ‘Bhaava’ of her husband. A husband is one who behaves realizing his responsibilities.’ The thread and the gold together form the ‘Mangala Sutram’. The thread has to be kept changing while the gold is not changed. Gold is devoid of contamination. These two are representative of body and soul. Shakti is complete only when the thought and act go together. There is woman in man and man in woman. Marriage is a flag enshrining the twin creative aspects – the ‘Ardhanariswara Tattva’. Love, devotion and offering… these three form the ‘Triputi’. A chaste and pious house wife is one who has everything under her sway. Marital life does not teach compromise but teaches how to adjust. In marital life, when human nature is exposed to situations, it is reflected as affection towards children, warmth towards guests and pure love towards husband. There is scope for implementing ideas of Truth, Peace and Love in the system of marriage. In fact, this differentiation is only from human perspective but is not for the creator. With out one there does not exist another. Love is contained in childhood, adolescence and youth but is in different states..! These words have to be understood by the modern men and women. If they can be implemented, there will be equilibrium and peace is certain to prevail. A perfect nation evolves out of living a life meeting the wants without deviating from Dharma. A Mahatma is one whose thought, word and deed are one. In the house, when there is coordination between the husband, wife and child, there prevails peace and where there is peace, there exist pleasure, joy and happiness always.
Married life is a life lived with Love
Married life offers scope to Love and share. The strength to meet problems, challenges, pleasures and pains, victories and defeats, unions and separations as also bright and dark phases.. is found here. That alone is life when all of these are in place.
When we single out as wife and husband, it is duality! When viewed as couple, it is Monism (Advaita). Meeting of the minds means harmony of two Bhaavas. Single thread (Eka Suthram), lone stone (Eka Sila) and the feeling of oneness of Atma (Ekatma Bhaavana) are concepts which strengthen the world. They are united forms of Shakthi. The woman enters the life of man and she manifests in many roles. She becomes anchor in the life of man by understanding his mind. By depth of thought, by piety, by playing the role of minister in executing works and as mother while feeding she becomes integral. The man who enters the life of a woman is a force providing security and support in a cordial way.
To see mother in wife
Though east and west are juxtaposed to each other, they are same like the parts in a square. Amma says that wife and husband have to be similarly like that! It is a situation where life has to be lived with mutually differing Bhaavas. That is why Amma said, “If mother-in-law can love her daughter-in-law as her daughter and if the daughter-in-law can similarly love her mother-in-law as her mother, then it is real monism (Advaita)”. This is a supra-normal view.
If the present day youth can understand the life of Amma and can live in that spirit, the institution of marriage stands with out crumbling. Factors like wealth and beauty are evanescent. Living together if viewed as a spiritual course, it becomes a constructive power which can lead any nation. The strength of Dharma lies in understanding and adopting. Any man, if he can address in some phase or the other his wife as ‘Amma’, it is a hall mark of an ideal married life! Sri Ramakrishna viewed Sarada Matha thus. The perception of Sri Nageswara Rao (husband of Amma) is no different. This is dual-unity!