Evidently AMMA’S advent is recorded on the28th March, 1923. HER remarkable, ever sacred entry is preceded by many good auguries, as also mysterious and miraculous experiences to those near and near including the midwife who handled the delivery. Likewise AMMA’S attaining eternity, by being consecrated in the sanctum sanctorum of ANASUYA SWARALAYAM too is recorded on the 14th June, 1985. Rightly, these are the indelible marks on the time log. None can change these very little. Apparently AMMA lived amidst us and left. Whatever one may say this tends to be a gross physical fact.
The simple poser for all of us is did AMMA come and go? Or for that matter enter and exit from this world like any other human being? Quite converse is the truth and the reality that is experienced by all those connected to AMMA. Plausibly the emerging consensus or the positive conclusion is that AMMA is timeless. This aspect merits a deeper understanding and a keener appreciation of the experienced fact by all of us. How best this could be plausibly made intelligible?
First and foremost, AMMA decreed during her physical form that AMMA is not merely the one sitting on the cot in Jillellamudi before all of us, nor is SHE necessarily confined to the tiny village of Jillellamudi. AMMA many a time declared that HER presence is expansive, boundless, limitless and timeless.
On the 12th June, 1985, the immediate contemporaries of AMMA, and all those near and dear to HER have grieved and were left with a void. This was felt at that moment could never be fulfilled. Absence of the physical form to which we are all used verily made a big difference. This is so as the physical proximity, the endearment of touch and feel are no longer there as before as some felt.
The intrinsic fact is the physical form of AMMA is only a time bound sheath that emanates, grows and decays like anyone else. This is so simply because the human form is made up of the five elements and accordingly subject to the physical laws of growth and decay. To be true in the essence, or to expound the intrinsic self or persona of AMMA, she is not the mere physical form.
The form is only a sheath for the sake of identification by one and all that covers the cosmic power within. The real, true inner cosmic AMMA is beyond time. Neither time mars, nor tradition overtakes, or for that matter SHE is beyond any social framework which contains AMMA. As verily decreed by AMMA, she is timeless, boundless, limitless, permeates all, pervades all, and includes all equally with little exception.
Those of us, who more physically are attached to AMMA, shall necessarily transcend this limited affiliation and look at HER cosmic person and appreciate the cosmic sway and the eternal being of AMMA that conditions the order and sways the time, as is observed many a time. One shall find relief and happiness in observing this mega process, appreciate the same and try to reach out to AMMA.
Mother too does endorse and sustain such process, as AMMA very lovingly declared that SHE shall be ever more close and reachable to us as ever before. This is the comfort given to us by HER boundless compassion towards us all, HER beloved children. Furthermore, this is well read from the fact, with the exception of the initial sense of personal loss and void, everyone settled down and anchored in their personal faith and belonging as ever before.
Subsequent to June 1985, many devotees are relating their experiences from the sanctum as also beyond; by those who saw her before June 1985 and those who came later on. Some who are totally unexposed to AMMA are also bestowed with very touching experiences by AMMA.
Recently in the regular spiritual meetings (Satsangs) now being held at Jillellamudi every two years, one lady from Visakhapatnam (Sister A.Lakshmi) has cited her experiences of AMMA. At the very beginning she confirmed that she has never seen AMMA. She added that her mother has seen AMMA, and she was at that point of time could be a mere child fully unaware of this entire mystique of AMMA, her person and her divine being.
Even so, she had the vision of AMMA in her own household at Vizag. In that vision, AMMA appeared before the lady and assured that her lot shall improve and shall be graced with all the goodness in life. Soon enough many of the mundane needs are granted to her. She being a novice was spellbound by this experience and took to AMMA intensely from then on. In the immediate future that followed, her police officer husband got a high career rise, sons excelled in their studies and found coveted placements. All this she related as a first person account in all sincerity, with an incredible feel.
There is yet another category of devotees who belong to the distant past of the 1950s and 1960s. Some of them who were so close to AMMA that they were personally cared for and served the food cooked by AMMA tend. to stand apart. Some of them are unsure of their current standing and also speculative of the current scenario, the developments and so on. It is quite heartening to note that several of these old time devotees are being beckoned by AMMA now.
One remarkable instance is that of Sri Alpati Poornachandra Rao, overtaking his nineties, and on the threshold of being a centenarian. He recalled his association with Jillellamudi and his deep personal attachment with AMMA. Yet his physical condition is very frail, confining him to the wheel chair that he could not make the visit on his own to Jillellamudi to renew his lifelong bonding with AMMA. His kinfolk could sense his deep inner urge and bent upon fulfilling the same.
To recap in his own words AMMA said ‘Soham’ when he had seen her. He responded in utter humility and intense devotion and said ‘Dasoham’ meaning he shall ever be the servant of AMMA. Verily he personified the concept of ‘Dasa Bhakti’ of the ancient days. This was evident and could be keenly felt from his conduct in the sanctum of Jillellamudi. His posture and demeanor conveyed this beyond any doubt.
His grandson came a few days before meeting all of us and timed his visit. This gentleman not merely thought of AMMA, but is equally concerned about the activities, the organization, the Parishat and the staff working here. As a token of his affection he wanted to present clothes to the staff. As a mark of reverence, he bowed from the wheel chair to AMMA. His intense feeling was such that ever since his entry he never stopped uttering AMMA’S name and chanting the same. His devotion transcended his frail physical form and was fully graced by the timeless AMMA. The likely centenarian devotee despite his restricting physical condition reached out to AMMA in all sincerity and steadfast devotion. One could easily perceive his equation with AMMA while he has been in the sanctum at Jillellamudi.
This instance apart, quite a few of the distantly past devotees, are now reminiscing and reaching AMMA, could be after quite a long pause in time. Some recall that they were fed a morsel or given a banana and so on. All such persons are now arriving and savoring their past moments with AMMA here. They are renewing their bonds with AMMA and Jillellamudi. It is heartening that some are even trying to put their mite in the ceaseless endeavor of love and care at Jillellamudi that AMMA initiated.
It is not out of place to present the experience of the girl (Kalpana) studying in the Pathasala of Jillellamudi. A year before, her parents decided to shift her from Jillellamudi and educate her at Hyderabad. Though I also felt that she will be missed here, yet in the betterment of her academic interests, did not speak up. But the very next year, she came here at the time of reopening to resume her studies. What was disclosed is that AMMA visited her in a dream and conveyed that she shall continue her studies in the Pathasala which the elders too respected and complied with. Quite obvious, this girl could never have seen AMMA before.
Some of the old devotees who had a sporadic presence or made a fleeting visit here in the distant past are also granted vibrant experience. Recently one devotee settled in Chennai (Sri Raghuramaiah), came to Jillellamudi after a long spell of absence. Ever since his entry into the sanctum, his face was bright and beaming throughout the ritual. Unmistakably it could be perceived he is exposed to the spiritual vibrancy in the temple. In a personal conversation, later on after the ritual he disclosed that while he was circumambulating, he could see AMMA preceding him. He is delighted but delighted at this experience. He also began to take interest in the service activity here.
Well the skeptic quite likely may discount such experiences subjective and as not physically witnessed. True the experience within the self is subjective and can never be put forth in tangible terms for the sight of the doubtful outside viewer. Yet the physical benefits or the real good that follows, emanates in temporal terms can never be brushed aside. The aftermath of good that follows is often experienced in tangible terms which to be denied is but being untrue to oneself and dwelling on the borders of hypocrisy.
This is the singular enigma of faith and the constant dilemma of the devotee.
The root of faith rests in the unknown, distant subjective realms. The fruits of faith are in the domain of physical experience, to be felt and received, even contrary to personal expectation at times. Yet the link often does not seem direct and linear for physical observation nor human perception. This is the trial of devotion and the testing course of faith to be undergone with little choice or option.
Grace alone shall resolve this tenuous issue and anchor the individual’s faith firmly without distractions. Above all the ways of grace are ever inscrutable for the human. The individual threads on an unknown, uncharted or seemingly uncertain path. Yet for those persistent grace goads the feeble, often straying self and leads on.
Well cosmic truth, process, sway and conditioning are beyond the sensory realms. They are felt; experienced in the domain of individual consciousness which verily reacts or even swayed by the infinite consciousness, though rarely understood. Such overwhelming supra consciousness is but divinity. Even the quantum theorists of the present day, are treading on the realms of consciousness. They are equally conceding that the process and sway of such overwhelming consciousness does not yield readily to rational exposition, or interpretation in the obtaining domain of scientific inquiry.
Thus coming back to our original premise the cosmic presence of AMMA is timeless and limitless. It is verily infinite and all encompassing. The lesser mortal shall only do well to reach the same and seek the glimpse of grace that befalls him. Such a limited approach shall enhance his lot and enrich his being. The individuals of a much more serious temperament and with a committed concern shall do well to seek AMMA’S grace in understanding HER timeless truth, being and ceaseless godliness, with its own unique motherly divine aura.
Quite likely and in the case of earnest pursuit and pursuant AMMA discloses her mystique; reveals her aura; the individual shall verily bask in all content and glorious fulfillments.