I like to share with you some of my stray thoughts, hence this write up. It is more than 15 years since MOTHER relinquished her physical form. Though I am unworthy, the very personification of compassion i.e., MOTHER, gave me a place at her feet. In this way I am very fortunate.
On my second reflection, I feel that I, an unfortunate and incapable person who could not recognize MOTHER, as the Supreme Power so sooner as MASTAN, the police constable who said that “though her form is limited her Sakthi is unlimited”. (“ROOPAM PARIMITHAM, SAKTHI ANANTHAM”), I was not even fortunate like NALLI, the Christian servant maid who while doing household duties, carrying Mother on her back said that she felt she was carrying the whole cosmos on her back and became the greatest yogini by chanting ‘AMMA’. AMMA, AMMA all through her life and automatically gained the power to see Mother Mary in AMMA.
Though I read ‘TARANGALU’ and “MAHODADHI” I did not realize that I was standing before the universal power (Sakthi), who referring to her Parents Seethapati garu and Rangammagaru said “JAGATH JANANIKE JANANEE JANAKULAYYE MAHA BHAGYAM LABHINCHA DANIKI ENTO KAALAM PATTALEDU” (It did not take too long for them to have the great luck to become the parent of Jagajjanani herself).
Am I also not unfortunate, as I could not understand the purport of the discussion between Maridamma Thatamma (mother’s grandpa’s Mother); and mother about devotee Papaiah’s mental state, an ardent devotee of Potharaju who saw in Potharaju (the god of his concept) as Mother Answering Thathamma’s question whether she i.s. the mother doesn’t know herself who she is, she answered (at the age of 5 years) that “MEERANDARU EVARO NAKU TELUSU, NENEVARO MEEKU TELIYADU (I know who are you all but you don’t know who I am). Moving round and round she said that, “IDI ANTHA NENE CHETTU, CHEMA, – CHERUVU (TANK) etc., NENE” (I am all these, trees, all vegetation and all this animate and inanimate beings).
I could not understand the meaning of these words of MOTHER and so could not convince myself that she, the MOTHER was saying the truth and truth alone. “That she, the ONE SUPREME POWER, has become all these”.
Do you deny that I am unfortunate as I could not realize that I was talking to that Anantha Sakthi (Universal Power) who unequivocally answered the query of Sri. Chidambara Rao “” who are you, are you Brahman, the Supreme Attribute, and the Brahman’s power replying to his Mother said “I AM ALL THE THREE TOGETHER”. I am BRAHMAN and, I became this manifestation, a Brahma Tatwa and that power, the Chaitanya a process of becoming modified forms, manifest and unmanifesT
Many times. I was singing along with others as Adisakthi, Paraatpari, Raja Rajeshwari and Jagajjanani, not knowing that these traditional incarnations or concepts of power were none other than Mother herself who became all these.
On one occasion she declared that she is Mugguru Ammala Moolaputamma i.e.. she is the supreme Mother of the three Mother Shakthi, Lakshmi, Saraswathi and Parvathi, the beginning the endless and all pervading and has become this AMMA today. (Ananthamai inatikidi ayindi) i.e., the infinite has taken this form today. She herself explained “(Mugguru Murthulu Thalli Molaputamma. Moodu Bhagaly, Anni avastalu mudugachesi. tanu Triputyai, Baly, Balatripurasundari Moodgunalu, Moodu Kalalu, Moodu Pootalu, Moodu murtulaku Bharyalayi, Aa Moodu Satva, Rajas. Tamogunalayi, Prapanchamayi, Oke Bhoothamlo Nunchi, Anekamy. Panchabanan”). I am beginning, eternal infinite who has become this being today. I am the Mother of the three deities, called Trimurthis and their spouses and so the supreme mother from which all this emanated, I have divided myself into three parts, making all the states into three (wakeful, dream and dreamless state) having become Ajna, the Bala and Balatripurasundari, the attributes called the three stages of Time, three parts of the day, that three having become Satva, Rajas, Thamo attributes and the whole cosmos. The universe having projected into five elements from one element of nature. Thus I have come now in this form in this creation of mine as one of them”. This is difficult for me to translate into English- never the less I understood and realized she is the essence of all those deities who came to be known in this all universe that is manifest and unmanifest is she alone.
How come I did not feel aghast while in my own presence some of the brothers and sisters, were talking continuously, not allowing Mother to reply, little realizing that they were telling Mother(The intricacies of Shastras and Puranas) also little realizing that she is the embodiment of knowledge and wisdom in these sastras. The wisdom and knowledge incarnate. HOW IGNORANT WAS I when I could not realize this while doing daily rituals of Sadhana worship (image worship).
To my understanding none of the great souls of 19th and 20th century, nor the Pouranic heroes and the Rishis of the yore or prophets of this yoga said so empathetically the naked truth as revealed by mother in so simple a language unequivocal words that, THAT ONE ALONE is all pervading Sakthi it was she HERSELF as AMMA. Although Lord Krishna is stated to have shown his Visvarupa, to the limited minds of ordinary people like KAMSA etc., did not realize, she has shown viswaroopam several times to many.
I along with many of you enjoyed the love and affection of Mother, but how many of us realized that the Mother who led a life of Housewife doing daily household work and undergoing innumerable crucifications hardly realized that “ONE SAKTHI” manifested in 5ft. height physical form is the personification of infinite love, compassion and patience. I do not know how you feel but now I repent for this folly of my ignorance, from the depth of my heart.
Do I ever have that fortune of Shyamala, Moulali, Nagabhushanam and some others who while living in forests far away from Mother’s physical form acquired divine power to feel her presence, see her and feel that they were in the lap of Mother and enjoyed supreme Bliss.
What should I do to attain such a Bliss?
You, Intelligent and knowledgeable sisters and brothers of mine, enlighten me, what should I do to attain such a Bliss?
AN UNLETTERED AND IGNORANT BROTHER AS I AM I LOOK FORWARD FOR YOUR GUIDANCE
(Collected from “In Quest of Harmony in Philosophical Concepts” by Dr. T. Raja Gopalachari)