Amma: Since I started distributing prasadam, I must give it to everyone. And I must give it equally.
Brother: Give equally to everyone? Or give whatever they can take?
Amma: My distribution depends on the capacity
of the other person. A grown ups’ needs are different from those of a child. I may give you a generous helping to make you feel satisfied. [Showing a child], but I may give this child only a handful of the prasadam. An infant may need still less. Not only your capacity, but your need and taste for what I give also decides the quantity. One never gets what he asks for, but what he needs and deserves. When you understand this logic of nature, you never feel dissatisfied or unhappy.
THE CENTER [Page 72]
It is a Monday in the month of kartheek considered especially holy by all Hindus. Brother Lakshmi Narayana was sitting with Amma. On all four Mondays, he washes the feet of Amma with milk and worships her. As he finished this and was speaking to Amma, his wife came into the room but he did not pay her much attention. He continued to talk to Amma.
Amma: Your wife is here for you. Ask her what she wants.
Lakshmi Narayana: She has not come for me.
Amma: You mean to say she has come for me? L.N: Ask her.
Amma; she has not come for any one. She has come for her own sake. Your actions are centered around yourself. Love, hatred, anger, friendship, jealousy-everything takes root in I. If there is no ‘I’ there is no world. It is everywhere and everything.
DISTANCE [Page 73]
What is distance? Is it being away from what you like-the physical distance? Or is it a distance of the mind? Amma explains.
An ardent devotee of Amma had to go away on official transfer to Vijayawada. He was very much upset at the prospect of leaving Amma’s presence and felt orphaned.
He thought that he would not be able to visit her as often as he is doing now. Sensing his distress, Amma tried to counsel him.
Amma: Don’t worry about the distance. Even if you are very close and even if you decide to come, sometimes you may not be able to come to me .Even if you are far away, you may come to me more frequently. Distance is not the deciding factor in visiting me. Be cheerful.
DUTY IS GOD. [Page75]
Sometimes Amma is misunderstood. When someone is overpowered by the serenity and bliss that he experienced in Amma’s presence, he stays back in the ashram. Members of his family, however, held Amma responsible for this straying away from the family and accused her of distracting and upsetting the family life.
One young man came to Jillellamudi but he did not visit Amma. He smoked heavily and talked to himself continuously. He left his house without informing anyone and without leaving any address. Finally his father in law traced him to Jillellamudi. High strung and impatient with the entire episode, he accused Amma for the strange behavior of his son in law. Amma listened to him patiently and sent word for the young man. She tells the father in law,-
Amma: We neither extend an invitation to any one nor close our doors to those who want to visit this place. Like the waves of a river, people come here and people go away. They enjoy absolute liberty either to stay back or to go away. Only today I came to know about the strange behavior of your son in law. Do you believe me if I say that he came to see me only today and never talked to me?
Father in law: But he tells a different story. If you ask him to go home, he will definitely listen to you. He eats vermilion. When I asked him why he was doing so, he said that you told him to do so. He left a secure job, a loving wife -his reasons? Amma told me to do so.
Amma: Call him here. I will talk to him in your presence.
When he came –
Amma: [gently] When did you come here?
Brother: Five days ago.
Amma: Why did you come here?
Brother: To see you.
Amma: Now that you have seen me, you may go
Amma: Why did you tell these people that I asked you to eat vermilion?
Brother: I felt like eating. I have a feeling that you made me eat it.
Amma: Do you think that Amma makes you do everything?
Brother: My thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions- everything comes from you. So my you are responsible for behavior, for whatever I do or say.
Amma: I do not mind in whatever way you behave. But others do. You can behave as you want if you are alone; if you are free. But you are in a society, you have a family. You feel Amma is making you do all these things. But others object to what you are doing and find fault with Amma. Amma, who is responsible for your impulse to stay back, is also responsible for their feelings. So, who is right? Or what is right? That is not the question. The right thing is to do your duty- and your duty is to your family. Go back to them immediately and do your duty. Did I, myself leave anything to ask you to leave your family and stay back here?
Brother: But when you are the God, should I not—–?
Amma: Who is divine? Duty is divine. Sincerity is divine. Spreading cheer is divine. You can be close to me by doing all these properly. Have your lunch and go. If you want to come back, talk to your people, inform them and come back.
Father-in-law: [feeling sorry for his earlier outburst] please don’t get offended at my words. I was worried about him. Don’t get annoyed with him. He is too young and doesn’t know much.
Amma: youth is not an excuse for irresponsible behavior. At the same time, youth is immaturity, not knowing what you should have known. How can I be called Amma, if I get angry with everyone?
(To be continued …..)