(Don’t worry, even if it is closed)
The Three persons who came from Vijayawada we’re no strangers. Four times, they visited Amma. Offering the fruits and flowers they brought to Mother they settled down. After a few minutes, one of the brothers asked Amma: “Do you remember me, Ma?”
Mother (smilingly): Three days ago I thought it was quite a long time since you came to see me.
Brother (with a sigh of satisfaction): Generally, we don’t remember you. But we unfailingly remember you whenever we undergo some suffering.
Mother: How does it matter, in whatever form or for whatever reason you remember me? Isn’t it good that you remember me, whatever the reason?
Brother: All – I mean some, But I am unable to do that. are able to see the Divine in you.
Mother: Divinity means what?
Brother: Seeing Mother not as mother but seeing her in the form of God.
Mother: That happens. But how can we say that the way in which you see Mother is not valid? Don’t trouble yourself, dear! Enough if you see Mother as mother. A lady from Jaggayyapet came here and stayed for two days. After going back, she wrote a letter criticizing the conventions here. People here felt angry. Though she wrote in a critical manner, she was able to see me in this form. Right? That’s all. They worship the picture of Mother in the form of Lakshmi on Fridays. On other days they see in the form of another deity. Here worship is offered to me – are they doing it as Mother? No. They see her in the forms they like such as Parvathi or Rajarajeswari. There is a boy. He does not like Mother being compared even to God. He disapproves. Yes, Rama and Krishna are, he agrees, incarnations of God. Yet he says the definition given to Mother is proper only to Mother. Some see their chosen forms of the Deity. Some see them as Mother herself. What is odd about this? When everything is Mother, does the Mother whom you think as God, cease to be Divine?
Another Brother: I don’t understand Mother. What all this is. Belief in God does not seem possible to me. To this day, I don’t have faith in God. Only on Mother that faith has to come.
Mother: Whether you get that faith or not, it doesn’t matter – have only love for you.
Brother: What else do I need?
Mother: Dear! Except feeling that I should draw you near, keep you lying in my lap, feed you fruits and food, I don’t feel anything else. I think that it is affection which makes me feel. Affection is drawing you near, the feeling that I want you all. You may call this affection, attachment, love. If it is that, then what is your detachment? You know what my quarrel is with people who think like that? All over, attachment (anuraga) itself is detachment (viraga)
Brother: Then attachment (affection) is filled with selfishness. Isn’t it?
Mother: Tell me, what is not selfishness? To desire something for oneself is itself selfishness. In that case, isn’t all this my selfishness?
(Conversation no.10)
This seems to me at least one of the simplest and most profound revelation. My translation can hardly bring out the subtleties which lie in the silences behind and between the truths. Pratyabhijna is a very important aspect of worshippers of Divine Mother. It is, in English, approximately, “recognition”. Or, even remembrance of that which we think we forgot. Thus, the talk begins with remembrance “Do you remember me?”, the visitor asks. That is: “I did not forget. But I don’t know, I even think that you forgot me. I have slipped from your memory”. The reason being we forget Ma and remember only when we suffer. This is true. And this truth is what Ma clarifies.
The profound truth is, Ma’s remembrance is not conditioned by our recalling her. Remember or forget, Ma neither forgets nor stops caring for us. That is what Her nature is. What is the reason? Whatever our attitude is, her concern for us is not conditioned by that. There are also those who criticize, misunderstand or even misbehave. Or, conversely, they may call her Goddess; give her names of the Divine Mother. In short, praise by attribution of other forms of Divine Mother to this Mother or doubts about who she is, or even critiques about her nature (conceived by our views), chief of which is that she forgets or forgot us are our mental nature. or rather detrimental
These are valid! Your faith in God or God as Mother is immaterial. “Does not matter” what matters is accepting her love. We may deceive ourselves that none can reject her love. That is foolish. Isn’t it? No, loving Mother is not a cakewalk. We live in closed houses open only to those who love us, which means who pamper our egoistic desires. “The Gods do not force themselves upon, they enter only where the door is opened for them” says Jacob Needleman, the American philosopher in his Little Book on Love.
There is truth in this: If mother, perhaps, is one who feeds us with food and fruit, she chooses what suits our digestion. If this is not the case, it is good to leave it to Mother. She wants us to suffer so that it at least ignites the spark of pratyabhijna again. This is where I have to confess, I may force myself to pray for relief, in spite of knowledge and awareness that I don’t need to pray. Shall we not meditate on this further? For, interpretation is also meditation on Mother’s apparently inscrutable but really loveable actions and anecdotes.