Each one of us must have faced certain situations and through them must have gained some experiences. These may be joyous or painful; sweet or bitter; bad or good. Accordingly some we may try to brush away and forget, some we may ignore? and still some we may cherish and pressure them in the depths of our hearts.
Amma must have blessed every one of us with such memorable and cherishable experiences which grow stronger and stronger with the passage of time. I would like to share a few sweet memories with my innumerable brothers and sisters as and when Amma makes my pen move. And also I humbly request all the offspring of Amma to share theirs with me through “Mother of All’.
Like any other child born in a middle class family. I had a very insignificant childhood suffering with ill-health, not very joyous days due to the physical ailments, crawling and limping, and grew up into a teenager. Father being a freedom fighter, his horizon was wider; he had many responsibilities and commitments towards his fellow-beings; but still he had tried and succeeded in planting in me seeds of hope, determination and dedication. It will not be out of place to mention here my misfortune that I am a victim of polio, then known as infantile paralysis which made me totally immovable at the age of seven. But Amma had taken care of me and made me able-bodied 50% with medical treatments of different types and methods and blessed me with education, physical strength and will power, thus my journey continued on the road of life with several ups and downs.
Now starts my chain of memories: memories of success, failure, appointments, disappointments. Father having a spiritual bent of mind and believer of God, he had sown these seeds into our minds (i.e. me and my siblings). After completion of my PG (Post graduation) I joined All India Radio (Akashvani) to earn a livelihood. In 1967, I was blessed with Amma’s Darshan. Father had already visited Jillellamudi quite a few times and was mesmerized by Her love and compassion. He took us to Mother in the month of March 1967. Among the sweet, permanent and valuable memories, this visit is the top most. We arrived at the ‘House of All’ at about 9 a.m. and were received by brother Adharapurapu Seshagiri Rao. During those days, Amma used to stay in the present Hymalayam premises. We were asked to rest for a while as Amma was not yet giving darshan. After 11 am we were taken into the pandal where Amma was seated on a desk fully adorned and surrounded by a huge gathering. My parents had offered puja to Her holy feet and needless to say I too followed suit. After entering the pandal for a few minutes, I was not that much influenced by the surroundings or the atmosphere there. But gradually an unexplainable peace and blankness descended upon me. If I remember correctly, Amma glanced at me for a few seconds (maybe I might have imagined). I was sitting like a statue and observing the happenings over there nonchalantly and absentmindedly. The pooja was over, the congregation started dispersing and we too were taken to the dining hall to partake in Amma Prasadam. I had lunch and was sitting in the room that was provided to us. Physically I was there but mentally I was so blank and confused. Several thoughts about the whole scenario I had witnessed a little while ago were flashing in my mind and immediately vanishing leaving me thoughtless. Thus I was struggling to get some coherent ideas, analyzing about the pooja I had witnessed and about the powerful glanes of Amma, but in vain.
At 3 pm someone had come to our room and told us that Amma had asked us to go to Her. Three of us, plus my father’s friend, entered Amma’s tiny room. She was seated on Her little cot with a very ordinary attire and a bright and powerful gaze. She again glanced at me with the same intensity and for a longer duration. I could not look into Her eyes directly and bowed my head down. But strangely, this glance cleared my head and the blankness filled inexplicable with joy and a feeling that I have not come to Amma for the first time that day, but my bond with Her is ageless and timeless. Thus started my spiritual journey – the journey still continuing and will continue till I breath my last. Brothers and sisters, some more thoughts will be shared with you, If Amma wills, at some other time.
Jayaho Mata.