In 1968 in the month of April, my father had taken us once again to the Lotus Feet of Amma. At that time She was staying in Nannagaru’s house (the present accommodation of Smt. Brahmandam Seshu). As usual we had darshan and pooja in the morning along with the others and returned to our room. At about 5 pm, Amma summoned us for a private audience. My parents, a couple of other people and I were in the room. Amma pointed to the saree She was wearing and said, “I am wearing the saree you brought for me”. This remark filled me with an inexplicable joy. For a few minutes my father and Amma had a chat about the political situation in the country and on topics of general interest. All this while, I was craving for a personal interview with Amma, sans my parents. But had no courage to express the wish out-wardly. I was staring at Amma and She looked at me with a steady glance for a few seconds and asked me whether I would like to talk to her. I nodded my head and feebly said ‘I want an exclusive interview’.
Then Amma asked my parents and brother RK to leave us alone for a few minutes. She asked me to go close to Her cot and took my head into Her lap silently caressing me for a few seconds. Her touch had filled me with a divine bliss and when She was caressing my head, a very strong wave of current entered into the middle of my head and gave me a feeling of weightlessness from head to toe. A flood of tears started flowing from my eyes with a fear that my tears might soil Her golden lap. I lifted my head and sat straight. Believe it or not, the entire room started to appear reeling and Amma, through her magic glance, penetrated deep into my inner self and gave me an assurance that She is my anchor and my ship of life will sail smoothly even in the roughest waters hereafter.
Thus, a few minutes. Amma asked me about my nature of work and other activities. I told Her that I had enrolled for a Ph.D and pursued the research work privately, while working. I further told Her about the activities I was pursuing. I lamented over my physical disability and my failure to fulfill certain ambitions due to this drawback. Amma assured me that She will take care of me and make my life fruitful. She further advised me to go over to Jillellamudi and meditate in Himalaya as and when I could get some leave. What more do I need? I am blessed. In the meantime Sri Bhadradri Tatayya garu (an old sanskrit scholar) entered the room with some tomatoes from the garden in Himalayan premises and offered them to Amma.. Amma fed me one of those saying, this fruit was the medicine for my mental and physical agony.
In the very beginning of my association with Amma, She manifested Herself to me both as pleasure and pain. After this blissful experience I had taken leave of Amma, joined my parents and we had our meal in Annapurna Bayam. I was overjoyed and was sailing on cloud nine. I went to the end of the verandah where Mother’s literature, photographs etc. were sold, with the intention of bringing a few books and photographs for gifting to my friends and colleagues. While coming back to the room, I did not notice the elevation in the level of flooring and consequently slipped and fell down. Immediately my left foot, which is badly affected by polio, got swollen and I was not able: to move about. With the help of some sisters, I reached our room. My poor mother was trying her level best to nurse me, but in vain. Literally the whole night I was worried and praying to Amma to relieve me of this pain and make me walk, because my father had a tight schedule. We had to leave Jillellamudi the next evening for Kakinada and from there to Delhi after a short. stay at Kakinada. By about 4 a.m. to my utter surprise and relief most of the swelling subsided and the pain also was bearable. I could attend to my routine duties like taking bath etc.. How strange are the ways of Amma !
At one juncture She would take you to the top of the hill and at the other She would push you down the hill to train you to take both the incidents with equanimity.
Before concluding this episode, I would like to narrate a very valuable incident. We were to leave Jillillamudi at 5 pm on that day. At about 4 pm I was sitting on the slab of the water tank near Amma’s abode and was analyzing the events that had taken place during our stay. I was enjoying every bit of experience that Amma gave me the previous night. I was deeply engrossed in my thoughts. I heard a voice calling my name.. After two or three calls, I could realize that I was being called when I glanced at the window near the water tank. Sister Annapurna (one of Amma’s staunch devotees and personal attendant) told me that Amma wants me there. I was proceeding to call my parents for the farewell darshan. But She stopped me and said that I should go alone now, and my parents would be sent for later on. I entered the room with trepidation. Amma was sitting on Her cot watching me with compassionate looks. I squatted at Her lotus feet. She had taken a ring from Her ring finger (Ring embedded with red and white stones) and put it on my ring finger saying “the engagement ceremony is over”. Later, She gave me a plain cotton saree with a suggestion “you may keep the silk saree I sent to you, in your pooja as you desire, and wear this when you go to your office”. I was observing the whole procedure dumb-founded and with the greatest joy. My only thought was ‘do I deserve all this?’
We ordinary creatures could never comprehend the designs of the All pervading Sakti that is Amma.