Fear. Anger, hatred and enmity – All are one and the same. There is only a degree of difference in intensity and in your mind. If one has no anger there is no fear. There is little difference between fear and anger, says (Amma, Mother of JILLELLAMUDI, the very incarnation of Divinity.
Dr. Tirumala, a devotee and a student of Amma’s philosophy says, between fear, anger and hatred, the difference is in the degree of feeling. If the other man has no anger there is no cause of fear. There arises the difference between fear and anger.
Guilt is anger directed towards one self for what he did or what he did not do. Resentment is anger directed at others for what they did or did not do. If resentment is not there, there is no anger and there is no cause to be afraid of him for what one did or did not do.
The process of guilt and resentment is the same we build up an image we have conceived. When we fail to live up to our image we judge that these actions contradict our image of the standard we had conceived as wrong, bad etc and become emotionally upset, bothered, feel alienated, hurt, hostile, belligerent, combative, quarrelsome, vicious etc.. When we don’t see the change towards the image we built, we become enraged and then aggravated. The change is not positive and to our expectation, we become furious and then get fed up. The height of this feeling is venomous and we chose to achieve what we have our image of him. So this is the basis for these states of anger and then hatred. The sad part is, it is the person who feels anger who suffers all this intense agony. No reprieves, no appeals will help.
Hence what is needed to avoid this suffering, to avoid building an image for ourselves and others so deeply and become a slave to this image building.
Anger begins as an inner twinge. We sense something long before it blossoms (explodes) into an emotional trade. We listen to this twinge and follow its advice. The emotional outburst in fact is not needed. How to achieve this. Just stop, look and change the place or go from the environment you are in when you get the signal of emotional outburst. Or it is better, at this moment not to do anything.
The second step is don’t build up any image as to how you would eat a cake or a sweet dish when you are diabetic. So is this.
The third step is to realize and understand that your image or concept is not accurate. It may not be fully right. Think a while about your past experiences and probe whether you were always right. Why do you expect others to be like what you imagine or even for you to be as you imagine. Is your imagination accurate? How? It is likely to be wrong. The best way is to train ourselves to get rid of feeling right, feeling right is a strong drug, people sacrifice a lot to be right. Ask yourself if you want to punish others. You suffer first the agony of hate. The other person is not. Anger is a habit. The habit is so ingrained when people speak or do something you don’t like to feel all that hate. We lose balance of mind and we reach. Amma said several times that. “There is no hardship when you like”. If there is no feeling of hardship there is no hate and consequently no anger.
What I do in such a mood is I take a picture of Amma’s form of tranquility and keep looking at her feet. This always helps me out of situations.
Pearl S. Buck Said:
“Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split of a second where it can be recalled and perhaps remedied. Remember that everything that irritates us about others can bad us to an understanding of ourselves. We have only to search what instruction you have from it”.
Is it not a lesson we learn from AMMA’s life? I suggest reading her JEEVITA MAHODADHI. It helps give you a flicker of how to keep calm adversely.
LOVE BREEDS LOVE
DON’T HATE THE HATE OF HATING
OM TAT SAT
(Collected from “In Quest of Harmony in Philosophical Concepts” by Dr. T. Raja Gopalachari)