We go to Amma for various reasons. We take something or the other for her. This happens as a matter of course. Is the “gift” taken or given with some motive behind? Or, is it a symbol of our love and regard? It is difficult to decide. In the unconscious we may nurse a desire, an appeal to her to show her grace by doing what we want her to do. Not what she thinks ought to be done. That is, we not only tell our problems but also give some hints to her about how they should be solved!
It is only to Amma that we can tell our problems. Our wants and wishes. And we have surely, in our minds, what we expect from her grace. We expect her to give us what in our view is desirable to us. This is what this month’s installment of conversations highlights.
The boy does not disclose the reason for bringing the gold bindi. He might have felt that Mother knows. But it is certain that he had a definite aim: to pass the exam. Nothing wrong with it. We may think like that. But if what is given goes with a tag of desires and demands, however hidden, it is Amma herself who has to solve this problem, untie the knot of gift and grace. This is what she does superbly.
She drinks her grace from our offerings – even if they are explicitly expressed. She declares that whether you bring bindi or not, the end-result has nothing to do with it. Her grace is not contingent upon what we offer her. It depends solely on our readiness – joyous willingness to accept what she gives. Her grace is always there and works to make us happy. In this way, let me say again, she thinks and decides what form this happiness comes from. Quite often, she forces us to redefine our notions of happiness. And, of course, sorrow. –
The ‘tiny’ incident appearing in this issue is perennial for deeper contemplation.
Mother of All October December, 2010