(Visits and knowledge gained)
After dinner in the night once again Mother spoke about the germination and the development of the fetus. She spoke about the union of the semen with the red cells (egg) (shukla and shonitha) and then the time gap between the union and the formation of the fetus. She said that the nature of this gap is not yet completely realized and that the person who realizes this would know about the ‘Atman’ and the relationship between the past, present and future of the soul. Even the doctors could diagnose the formation of the fetus only in the 4th month and in a like manner the child would also be able to recognize its mother fully only in the 4th month. In the same way it would be difficult to predict exactly the instant of delivery. The muscles and bones in the human body have the power to push the baby out.
Later she asked if ‘Dharma’ could be different for men and women? She said that the same rule applies both to husband and wife and that what is wrong in one’s case could not be right for another. I said, “yes, but there might be special rules too” (the special dharma I had in mind is to see Mother not only in others but also in one’s wife.) Mother immediately said ‘OK, put that out”. I was afraid that Mother may simply say “yes! It is the ultimate practice”, and send me away. So, I tried to divert the issue by saying something about Congress and Communists and to correlate them to the present matter. (At that time I had not yet had a firm belief that Mother could perceive every thought that moved in our minds.) Mother immediately said, “Let us stop this”, and rose up and went away. I remembered a similar experience of Sri Lakshminarayana with the saint Smt. Pitchamma garu).
Next morning when we went to the drain, I revealed my feelings to Sri Nori Venkateswarlu and Sri G.V. They told me to speak directly with Mother. On our return I went straight to Mother and held her feet and said that I was repentant for the way I behaved (side tracking the conversation) and that my ego and pride stood in my way and cried loudly for some time. Mother said, “why do you put some burden on Mother and some on yourselves. Leave everything to Mother”. After some minutes she said, “you can cry later. Drink some coffee first. Or do you want to cry some more?” I said “as many times as needed”. Mother changed the topic and said “Babu garu (Lakshmikantananda Yogi guru) left us behind. So he will come back again”.
In the evening Mother seemed to be in a trance for about six or seven hours. She was writing in several languages. Later she lay down for some time in the lap of Bamma garu (her mother-in law and mother of Sri Nageswara Rao garu) and gave prasadam – coconut water to her. Then she rose, bathed and wearing a white zari saree, sat in the posture of veerasana’. She spent about one hour in ‘Shambhavi Mudra’. She verily appeared to be Raja Rajeswari.
At night, after dinner Mother spoke at length about “birth” with me. Suddenly she said “O.K. I will stand up”. She stood up, lit incense sticks before the ceramic jar in the hut (there is a snake pit in the jar), ate some earth from the pit, went inside the Baron, came out and gave us all six grapes each as prasadam.
At that time, suddenly very bright light emanated from her face as from a focus lamp. She immediately bent forward on her knees and covered her face with her hands. After some time she stood up and said “I am still surrounded by Visphulingas (electric flashes)” and went into a trance. She said, as if she was answering somebody – “Children are here. Is it not my duty to look after them?” She then joked with me. “Did you lose your sleep? You will be awake throughout the night”.
I went to Jillellamudi again on 18th December 1957. Mother told me about Raju (Mannava Butchiraju Sarma). “Raju was here on the 23rd. I saw him first as a small boy sucking his finger. He may not come here for two or three months. But he could see me very clearly in his mind like a statue”.
Then Mother spoke about Cosmos (Rodasi kuharam – The Black hole). She spoke about the Vyasa, Viyasa and Prayasa played on the words, and dwelt at length on the Vyomayana Prakaranam (The Chapter on Space travel). She said that Bharadwajasramam (in the spatial parameters) was situated at 4° to 14° and after that once again emptiness pervaded and it would take 5 days (for light?) to travel. Hence 14° would roughly take 15 days. She said that the first vibration in the Nirguna (formless?) is ‘Mother’. Therefore Mother had no beginning or obstruction or limitations. It is therefore that all the Universes are in Mother.
Mother spoke very soothingly to me. “First you should be like a baby. Meditations and Mantras – we could see about them later. You have come to Jillellamudi now, seen your Mother and have come near to me. For so many years you have been wandering over so many places doing so many things. My child! My dear child!” So, she very softly touched my face and cheeks.
I said, “If you simply say that we should become children, will it be possible for us Mother? Did the trimurthis (Brahma, Vishnu and Maheshwara) come as children to her, or did Anasuya transform them into children? As you have the same name ‘Anasuya’ shouldn’t you also do it yourself Mother?”
Mother said “Yes. Mother in the center and children all around”.
Early in the morning Mother gave us permission to leave. She said “Leave early without taking a bath etc. Fruits are over. I am giving only one each to you. Take your bags and leave”.
For me, there is a feeling of sensation in the face and at the back of the head.
Mother told me that it would be harmful to smoke and that the heart cavities would be like walls in the Kitchen (covered with soot).
Sri N.V. saw Mother give Sri Reddi Subbaiah some leftover coffee. He too requested Mother and Mother gave him some Coffee left over in her cup. He had a fever at that time. He told me that his fever left him soon after.
In Chirala, Sri Bendapudi Akkiraju spent the whole night in complete bliss. He asked Mother about it and proved to us that it was ‘her’ doing.
Sri Kona Subba Rao was suffering from high fever for almost 10 days. He said that with one injection on his return, he became alright.
This time, during my visit, I heard Mother speak about Radhakrishnan, Aurobindo, Mother, Russel, Woodruff etc. (in her trance-like state). So, I decided to read them again.