(rendered into English by Dr. Sista Shanta)
What is your design Mother !!!
“If a dream were to become a falsehood” is the 26th song written in two days in Guntur (27.10.1957 and 01.11.1957).
If a dream were to become a falsehood
If this earth were to be real
Isn’t the dream then real!
Mother! isn’t the earth unreal?
This is the burden of the song. Once when I was asleep, I saw Mother in my dreams. Ten or fifteen days later I visited Jillellamudi. To my surprise I saw Mother as I saw her in my dream. That day saw her in flesh and blood actually and in the past in a dream.
In thought and wakeful state
In a dream, which appears real,
but takes place in a wakeful state
In the sleep, which is very dear to me, which I cannot give up
The Mother in the dream is none other than the Brahman.
This is the first stanza.
Indeed, that sleep was exceedingly dear to me. Because it is not the routine sleep but a special one, the dream I cherished. It is not just Mother I saw in my dream, I experienced her presence, her touch, her conversation and her memory all those give immense bliss.
This song is the outcome of that dream. What is seen in reality/ actually and what is seen in a dream are the same. What I saw with these “physical eyes” I described as “here on this earth (‘ila’)” I did not see any difference between the two.
That which gives joy in the euphoric intoxicating sleep Caused by the cerulean (deep blue) light that arises from you The dreams become a reality but considered as false on this earth.
Mother always expressed the essence of Brahma Jnana (Divine Knowledge or the Supreme Truth) as ‘I am that I am’ (nenu nanna nenu). She also describes it as the capital “I” that has become all the small “i’s” or that which includes all ‘i’s. I am the ‘I’ that has become all the ‘i’s, the small ‘i’. In this context I have to narrate a personal experience. Once Mother was busy doing something or she was talking to someone. I was at that time sleeping on a cot. I had a dream, in which I was traveling in an airplane. I who was inside the plane was waving my hand to say goodbye to the other ‘I’ that was on the earth/ground. Here there are three ‘T’s, the ‘I’ that is dreaming, the ‘I’ in the airplane that is waving the hand and the ‘I’ on the ground. Then I asked Mother “is this what you mean by “I am that I am” (nenu nanna nenu)?” Mother’s reply was only a smile.
‘The blue rays of light in sleep’ – means ultraviolet rays. Those are the rays of love that are shed on me. From this love my personal experiences emerged. This is a dream that is true. Even this earth is in one sense a dream unreal, because everyday things are changing. What we see today is changing by the next day or is disappearing. Further as long as I live the earth is real. But after my demise, when I myself do not exist, there is neither the earth nor the dream. Then everything becomes unreal.
(to be continued)