(Contd. from the previous issue)
- Everything is ‘present’ for Amma
It was the year 1973. I was going to attend Ravi’s wedding. I boarded the train in Nandyal and slept on the upper berth. I fell fast asleep. Everytime the train stopped I asked the co-passengers the name of the station. I had to get down in Narasaraopet. The train stopped at one station. I enquired and was told it was Narasaraopet. I quickly jumped down from the berth. The train was slowly picking up speed. I picked up my bag and held my breath. I jumped. The onlookers were shocked and thought that something untoward had happened.
I used Brylcreem cream in those days. As I fell flat on my tummy I fell on the Brylcreem bottle. I hurt myself very badly. For a few minutes I had convulsions. I slowly got up, took a rickshaw, went to the bus stand and reached Jillellamudi via Chirala. I forgot my footwear in the train and the watch stopped. Though it was not an excruciating pain, the nagging was there. As I could not climb the stairs I stayed on the ground floor. There was a lot of hubbub as it was the occasion of the wedding. Amma was surrounded by women. Someone told her about my arrival. Immediately she sent someone to bring me up. With great difficulty I reached Amma’s room. She called me close to her. I hesitated a bit. Amma knows everything. After the woman moved away, I went closer to her. “Don’t be rash dear and very affectionately she passed her healing hand all over my body. Till today I have the telltale mark of the incident and there is a small bulge on the stomach.
That day I traveled alone. Nobody was with me. Then how did Amma know? As if there is anything that Amma does not know!! To be exact Amma must have experienced that excruciating pain more than I did, something terrible should have happened. hands, no legs, no bones, no joints were broken. What kind of protective armor she must have put on me! How much she must have suffered on my account, I do not know. “Why did you jump? – no
You could have got off in the next station and come an hour or so late. What would you have done had the train been two hours? Anyway you don’t have to feel anxious. But don’t be foolhardy”. She warned me again. She reminded me once again that Amma had no barriers and walls cannot conceal anything. To her the concept of time as yesterday, today, tomorrow does not exist. There is no such demarcation or division. To her the past, present and future are all the same, it is only present. Actually Amma warned me long ago not to be heedless. Thirty eight years ago, I told Amma that, when I was in Guntur I was in the habit of jumping from the rooftop, taking bets with my friends. Ofcourse there were sand pits to jump on to. Then Amma said ‘Dear don’t be reckless.’ After the train incident, I felt that Amma forewarned me about the occurrence that would take place in future, many many years in advance.
- Divine Love of Mother
Once I told Amma ‘Amma there is a medical treatment called Kayakalpa Chikitsa. When you get this treatment done once again you will get a new body. Normally everyday many cells get destroyed in our body; in this process we get new cells and the body will remain strong for about sixty to eighty years. After sixty if you go through this treatment once again one can be strong and healthy for another sixty to eighty years. As a comment Amma said “Yes dear! I can live. What is there? But for what? The daily routine is to get up early in the morning, finish the morning ablutions, take food, and sleep. Just to follow this routine does one need 100 years! Why can you live upto 200 years? But it is the same routine isn’t it? For this does one require so much time?”
“By then none of you will be there, isn’t it? All of you will be dead. New people will come, they too will die. Should I be crying for all these? Remaining in sorrow, is this what I am here for? What is the use? If any work is done we say this is the difficulty, this is the loss or this is the profit, this is good this is bad. Tell me about this long life, the routine never changes. The normal longevity is supposed to be 100 years. This itself is more than sufficient, is the opinion of many. And you want another 100 years added to it! But none of you will be there. What will I do when all of you are gone? Don’t entertain such mad/foolish/ thoughts/Don’t be foolish.” Though outwardly she was smiling she was smarting within. I was speechless.
Amma lives for us. We live for ourselves. To be utterly selfless (the goal) is her selfishness, whereas for us to be selfish is the ultimate goal. Amma never gave importance to physical comfort. She never thought of eating to her full or sleeping to be totally relaxed. The food that was given to her, she always distributed among the beggars, the sick and the animals; right from her childhood. She took great pleasure in doing so.
“When you are not there why should I be? All these are mere foolish thoughts”. This concern about us reflects her divine motherly love. What can be more agonizing for a mother than the loss of her child? Amma considers all as her children and adores them. To those who have enjoyed this unusual (alaukika) divine love, feel that the expression – ‘Amma is a Goddess’ is too simple and a bland statement (which does not really convey the greatness of Amma).
Millions of prostrations at the feet of the holy mother, an embodiment of extraordinary paternal love.
- Holistic View
Once I said “Amma! Jillellamudi will be known worldwide as dialogue took place between us :
a spiritual center. It will be a holy pilgrim center.” The following
Amma: How do you know?
Myself Because you are here.
Amma: Will every place that I stay become a holy place?
Myself: Why not Amma ?
Amma: No Dear.
Myself: Some places have powerful miraculous vibrations. For example, just before the Vijayanagar empire was established, Harihara Raya and Bukka Raya were in search of a place where they could build the capital city.
They took the hounds and moved about. At one particular place, the hares started chasing away the hounds. The hounds that would normally chase and pounce on anything, had to beat a retreat when attacked by the hares. Sometimes a specific place has specific powers.
Amma: No dear. It is not like that. Every place has two qualities. The second quality is implied in what you said. But you did not perceive it. The hare had the power to chase the hounds and the hounds who normally chase and kill anything became timid. From where did they get this timidity and how did the hare become ferocious! The timid hares have become ferocious and the ferocious hounds became timid.
(I was stunned. I was speechless.)
Myself: Yes Amma. I never thought of it in this manner.
Amma: My dear! Two diametrically opposite qualities will be present simultaneously. Where there is good, there is bad also; where there is pleasure there is pain. Jillellamudi is no exception. Merit and sin, good and bad exist. Both exist, not only here but everywhere on earth. Can you have a place where only one quality exists? We see the head on one side of the coin, does not the tail exist on the other? Did anyone see the other side? Can it be seen or not? In this visible world, in this creation, every object that is seen has both the obverse and reverse sides. The second side we don’t notice. What is on the second side?
Myself: I don’t know Amma. What is on the second side?
Amma: Do you know what is on the second side? “Oneself”. He who sees everything cannot see himself. The eyes that witness look at everything else cannot see themselves. The thing on the second side is oneself. He who knows himself knows everything.
Presenters: Ravuri Prasad and A.V.R. Subramanyam
(To be continued)