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Leaves from Arkapuri Diary

Unknown, Dr Sripada Gopalakrishna Murthy
Magazine : Matrusri English
Language : English
Volume Number : 2
Month : September
Issue Number : 6
Year : 1967

MOTHER finished her bath and came and sat on her cot in the hall. One of the ladies among the visitors offered fruits and flowers to mother, broke a coconut and lighted camphor before Mother and sat quietly for a while, Mother too was silent. Then the following conversation took place between them.

Visitor: Mother, I have something to ask of you.

Mother: Tell me, child. But there is nothing that I would do about it.

Visitor: My domestic circumstances are not all right my daughter-in-law is ailing from a disease.

Mother: I don’t know anything about these things and I don’t know what to say (The visitor expected Mother to foretell her future.)

Visitor: Be gracious, Mother; how can you be ignorant of these things?

Mother: All these (suffering) are my grace only.

Visitor: Alas! Alas! Please relieve me of those. Mother: I shall, when I feel I should.

So saying Mother retired into her inner apartment.

One day a visitor came to see the Mother. He broke a coco nut as an offering but found it to be rotten. He became very sad and blamed his own sinful nature for the unfortunate incident..

Mother: Give it to me.

Visitor: It is rotten, Mother!

 Mother: No child, your rot is gone!

So saying she took the coconut and ate a part of it.

Similarly another visitor offered her an apple he had brought. It was all right to look at. But Mother examined it and said it is rotten and forced her finger into it and exposed the rotten portion. The visitor sadly complained, “It always happens so in my case. Perhaps I am all right outwardly and rotten at heart.”

“No child,” she replied, 1 say, your rot is gone. I shall take it.” So saying She ate the rotten portion and proceeded to separate the rot from the rest. It is not as you said. It is only outwardly rotten. It is sweet at its core,” she said, as she exhibited the ripe core of the apple. “You are better than most others,” she consoled him.


One day Mother was distributing some sweets to all the in mates of the Ashram. She was calling everyone by name without forgetting even the smallest child in the premises. One of the visitors expressed his surprise at her concern, her memory etc. Then Mother replied:

“If I do not distribute these, I should not give it to any one. But if I give, I must give it to all. Now that I started distributing t it, I must see that evereone present here gets it equitably.”

“By equitability, do you mean that it should be distibuted equally to all, or that it should be given according one’s need?”

“By equitability, I mean this: I have given you to the ful of your hands. When I give it to a child: I will give only half a handful. Because a handful satisfies your hunger. But only half of it is enough for child. If I give the child as much as I give you, the child suffers from indigestion. There might be differences in apportioning it according to the capacity of the receivers. Carefully considering the quantity that a child needs, and judging what suits the constitution of the child is the care of the Mother.”


On the 25th of September, 1965. a Moslem youth named Rasul came to see Mother. He first visited Mother four years ago and met her again when she visited Chirala two years later. On one of his earlier visits, he asked Mother, who is God?”. “The one who can’t be reached even through search,” She replied.

This young man’s mind was more drawn towards such ques tions as “who is God? What’s Liberation?” etc. He was never keenly interested in studies. His main object was to get these pro blems resolved. He visited Puri, Prayaga and other holy places but did not find a solution.

“But what are you doing now? Are you doing Tapas?” asked Mother.

“No, not even that”, he replied.

For carlier he expressed a strong desire to retire into a lonely forest and to sit in Tapas under some tree. When he expressed his desire to Mother and sought her advice, she advised him to cultivate loneliness first of all, and then commence Tapas-instead of immedi ately retiring into a forest, causing suffering and anxiety to himself and to his parents. She also asked him to come and stay in her presence if he so wished. She promised him solitude, the necessary attendance and food. Mother recounted all this in her conversation with the youngman. He asked Mother to explain to him the techni que of Tapas and to initiate him into it. She professed ignorance in her usual manner and reiterated her carlier offer of providing for his need if he stayed in her presence, The youngman raid that he would. come the next. Friday and that he would stay in her presence but never turned up again!

It seems that his inability to take to Tapas according to his earlier resolve shows that either his ealier resolve was either a passing fancy or that he failed to cultivate the loneliness according to Mother’s instruction. His inability to return to her according to his promise was probably indication to the youngman of the truth of Mother’s words- “What we contemplate does not happen; what we have in store for us cannot be avoided,”

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