(We are fortunate that brother B. Ravindra Rao, the second son of Amma shared some of his direct experiences with Amma through a recent article in Telugu and published by the SVJP in a book titled “Brahmandeswari Amma”. Coming directly from none other than the progeny of Amma, it is felt highly desirable that this article be rendered into English to pass on the benefit of these experiences to the non-Telugu speaking brothers and sisters in India and abroad. — T. S. SASTRY)
During those (early) days, Amma used to cook and serve the food herself. I shall narrate an incident, which I witnessed directly.
There were over 10 people inside the house waiting to have their food and who came from outstations. Amma took a coffee cup-full of rice, cleaned it in water and put it for cooking. I asked Amma “how do you serve food for so many people (with this rice) when it is not enough even for me?” Then Amma said “you eat whatever you want. I shall look at the aspect of being enough (for the rest of the people)”. Not only did I have the food to my stomach full but the rest of the 10 or so people had the food to their heart’s content! I was surprised to see how hardly a coffee cup-full of rice was sufficient for so many people.
During one of the Dasara festivals my paternal grandmother made Amma install a ‘Kalasam’ for performing daily pujas during Navratri. I heard Amma recite the ‘Rajarajeswari Ashtakam’. One has to experience the sweetness in Amma’s voice and cannot be put in words. During those days Raju bava (M B R Sarma) used to recite the ‘Mantra Pushpam’.
Our paternal uncle Lokanadham used to live in Appikatla. We (me and my brother Subba Rao) used to study in Appikatla. Amma one day set out on a journey to Appikatla. I was also there along with Amma. Reddy Subbaiah too followed us. On the way to Appikatla one has to cross irrigation streams. He was quite a hefty and strong man. He told Amma “Amma! I shall lift you up and let you cross the stream (don’t worry)”. So saying, he tried to lift Amma. It was just not possible for him to lift Amma. He exclaimed and asked Amma “What is it Amma! I thought how easy would it be to lift you. But how heavy are you! Even I am not able to lift you”. Then Amma said “Did you not say that you make me cross easily, lifting me very effortlessly?” And laughing, she said “Okay! You try now”. Then this time Subbaiah felt Amma lighter than pitch, lifted her and made her cross the stream very easily. On seeing this I felt Amma might be in possession of powers like Anima, Laghima, Garima etc.
During those days (later half of 1950’s) Amma used to distribute soil from a snake-pit (that was there in the thatched shed) as ‘Prasadam’ to those who visited her. It used to have a very good fragrance and was very sweet to taste. From one corner of the house of Dr. Seethachalam of Kommuru once there was a smell of dead rats. They all said ‘Amma had come!’ I was surprised to hear this remark and wondered as to the connection between Amma’s visit and this rotten smell. In a short while, there was a fragrance from a pit where garbage is dumped! Even then they said ‘Amma had come’. These were the ways in which there used to be indications and evidence of Amma’s arrival.
If anybody at his place scolds a beggar asking him to go away, Amma used to broach that topic with us here in Jillellamudi when they later visited Amma. So, from then on we don’t scold or drive a beggar away, fearing as to in which form Amma would visit us.
In Jillellamudi, rays of light used to fall in our thatched hut (roof covered with palm leaves). Thinking that the palm leaves might have shifted out of place, my father got it covered thickly with the palm leaves. Even then the rays continued to fall. Wondering as to from where those rays were emerging and examining closely, it was found that these were emerging from a broken ceramic jar. People recognized much later that there was ‘Nagendra’ (a serpent) in that jar. People talked later that it had gone to Shyamala (a devout lady we come across in Amma’s early part of life) or Pandharpur (which also had a very significant connection to Amma’s life).
In 1956 Amma went into ‘Samadhi’ state. She did not get up for 3 to 4 days. Confusing it for a disease, people around started medical treatment. They even thought she was dead. At last she got up on her own as if waking up from sleep. Thus there used to be a lot of commotion because of the ignorance of the people about Yogic experiences and ‘Yoga Siddhi’s’.
During my childhood days I used to sleep by the side of Amma with my head resting on her hand. After a short while, Amma used to disappear. It appears she used to go to Bapatla and return and be by my side by the break of dawn, my head still resting on her hand! Thus she used to go hither and thither and sometimes there were incidents when Amma was present at both the places at the same time. During this childhood, staying without Amma was an unbearable state for me.
To prove that she is keeping an eye on us every moment even if we are away from her, she used to repeat verbatim, during our following visits, the conversations that we had at a faraway place.
Mine is a very ordinary education. It is very difficult to get on in life with that education. Amma’s intervention in every situation in my life is quite perceptible. It is beyond my imagination to think that a candidate failed in SSLC or an ordinary graduate and son of a Karanam (Village Officer) of Jillellamudi to have got employment in RTC (Road Transport Corporation) through the good offices of Sri A. Seshagiri Rao, or a temporary employment as a clerk in State Bank through Sri Siva Rao, a relative of Sri Polisetty Kumaraswamy of Guntur.
In fact I am not living my life. There’s no relation between my income and expenditure. That it is happening with Amma’s intervention is becoming quite clear at every step. It is not possible for an ordinary employee. Even physically both my life and living is at the instance of Amma. She is fulfilling all my needs. Even if it is apparent how money is getting accrued (in times of need), the invisible hand of Amma is there behind this accrual.
Once Kesava Sarma garu and myself thought of going to Mannava (the birthplace of Amma). In view of my physical condition and inconvenience, I said ‘let us go by car’ (taxi). But he did not like spending nor making me spend that much money for the taxi. He said ‘let us go by bus, anyway there are buses that go into the village, isn’t it?’ I said ‘It is alright while going. But it will be difficult while returning. Moreover, the journey will not be in our hands whenever we want’. Even then he did not listen. So we went to Mannava by bus. As if Amma read our mind, Mr. Poornachandra Rao of Guntur, quite unexpectedly, came in a car on his personal work in Mannava. He made us travel in that
car (while returning). The deeds of Amma will be like that. This is only an example.
(I feel) We may not have gone as closely to Amma as she had taken us to her. She never gave up her universal nature. She did not even feel that it would be a barrier for us, her progeny. Amma has to be viewed as God. It has been my principle right from the beginning that we should not take her for granted, just because she allowed us to be close to her. Amma herself got the first floor constructed for me over the building opposite Gayatri Bhavan. It did not even complete the required number of days for curing when Amma said she would be coming to my house. She stayed in my house for 40 days. I feel that she had done this to prepare me mentally to withstand her separation. She made me offer her new clothes and perform puja to her every day. She gave me an opportunity to perform ‘Rudrabhishekam’ to her while Prasannanjaneya Sarma and Kumara Sarma chanted ‘Rudra Suktam’.
During those 40 days I performed puja to Amma as well as in Anasuya Swaralayam. During early days we used to take bath with the water that Amma bathed, considering it very sacred. Similarly, I had the opportunity to take a bath with that water during these 40 days. Later, I made the room where Amma took bath as Puja Mandir later. I used to experience Amma’s presence there. On the 11th day after she entered the Temple (on shedding her mortal coil) she gave me ‘darshan’ adorned with Crown, Trident and Wheel.
I went once to Sattenapalli where Madhu (Y V Madhusudan Rao) was there serving as an employee. I was mentally in a stressed condition. I had a dream in which I saw myself jumping from the upstairs of a building while Amma held me with both of her hands. Thereafter I never was subjected to so much stress.
Amma is driving my life. I am leading the life as Amma is driving it. As Dr. Potluri Subba Rao of Chirala said, the way Circus Company manager makes the animals and humans play as he wished, we are toys in Amma’s Company. It is Amma’s will to make us play whatever character she assigned to us.
At times, I feel like living in a remote corner, out of reach of people and responsibilities. But Amma does not allow me. This body is the one given by Amma. This life is the one given by Amma. What else is needed if this life is dedicated to Amma!.