IT seems, I am always partial in my conception of Sri Devi, Mother in Her one parti cular aspect only. It is true, but there is no expli cable reason for this. This much I can say, while reciting my daily parayanam of Sri Lalitha Sahasra namam, the tongue unknowingly stops for a while to repeat that sweet name, “Kapardhini” for a second time and taste the nectar in it, and then I go on like the honey bee hovering round the other names of Sri Matha.
In his book of annotations on Sri Lalitha Sahasranamam, while commenting on the name ‘Kapardhini, Sri T. V. Ramanaiah Garu of Nellore says, ‘Sri Devi after the blissful happiness with her Lord is in Kapardhini state’. So, what I learn from my preceptor is that it is a blissful state which one should always aspire to be in. This sets the mind athinking. The flowing tresses of Sri Devi, like the surging waves, denote the Vimarsa aspect of Her, wherein the creation is fully expressed; refer Namas Barbaralaka’, and its succeeding one, “Vimarsa Rupini’.
With this background, I always used to look at the pictures of Sri Saradamani Devi, wife of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, which adorn the walls of the Ramakrishna Math and gloat over it for hours. My ramifications of these two states, one the flowing tresses as in “Barbaralaka”, and the other as consort of Kapardhini, one whose tresses are tied, repressed, brings me to a point where I get all my doubts deciphered. So I cling on to that imge for my understanding of this life process and riddle of Creation and Destruction.
It is the sweet will and pleasure of the Mother to unloose her tresses and thereby create this universe and equally it is her sankalpa to bind it in one knot whensoever she chooses. What a sport!
It happened to be really a fortunate day for me. My friends were suggesting to me to follow them for a while to see some holy person. Then I didn’t know whom they were referring. While we were talking, I casually happened to see a picture of ‘Sri Amma on the wrapper of a book that was laid there on the table. It is the same picture which clings to my memory always, as that of Sri Sarada mani Devi in her flowing tresses. Sri Amma in the same aspect of ‘Barbaralaka’ gives me darshan first. What a strange coincidence!
We went to the place where Sri Amma was staying. I stood there before Her, who is mother of mothers, yet in her simple, human form. There was no formality, stand aloofness, or hush hush about her or near her! Everyone is allowed to go near her as her child and she gently strokes your head as though you are one among her pet children. On that day, while taking leave of her, she enquired if we were given any photo of Her’s. As we were not given any on that day she promised to give us the next day.
The next morning, on my own, I was drawn to her and I went with my family to see her. The first thing I got as soon as I prostrated and stood before her was the same photo which I always keep in my inner sanctum sanctorum and always cherish to offer puja. She gave it with a smile. which spake thousand and one things: “Have you not wanted to possess this one?” “Is it not your Ishtadevata?” and what not! I was for a while not myself. Yes; Mother in her benign order has spe cially blessed me on that day with that particular photo which is a key, as I said before, to unlock and see the riddle of life. May she shower Her Blessings to all of us, her devotees for all time.