(In the original diary Sri R.R jotted down Amma’s words from his conversation with her. His observations were also jotted down in short, clipped sentences which I took the liberty to expand. Some of them have been explained in other articles of Sri R.R.)
This time mother gave us a categorical assurance that she was ready to don the role of Mother and said that those who come to her should be ready to be children. As the conversation drifted to children and childhood, Mother said that how the chemistry of birth takes place to give rise to the fetus after the union could not be easily traced and even doctors could determine the pregnancy only after the fourth month. In the same way a baby would be able to recognize its mother only after four months. It seemed to be retracing the steps.
Another saying that stunned us was that “There is only one basis for both Darkness and Light”. As we began to ponder upon the meaning of the statement the depth of the scientific and spiritual significance filled us with awe. Then she said that ‘Earth’ supports everything and is the embodiment of patience.
A stanza from ‘vigna patanjali’was recited by some. Where should one meditate? Where is this ‘heart’? etc. were some of the questions raised and Mother said that heart would be even in the sole of the foot. As we were first crestfallen, Mother said that at Jillellamudi Mother would hold children like a cat carries its kittens carefully. There is no need to hold as the baby monkey holds tight to the mother monkey. Thus mother gave the assurance that the responsibility for upliftment of her children is hers.
Then we heard about the experiences of Dr. Sitachalapathi garu through Sri G.V. garu. Dr. Potluri Subbarao garu of Chirala took eight photos of Mother. But then an astonishing fact was that all the photos depicted different forms even though all the snaps were taken at the same hour.
Mother then said that she never had a dream. She said that her wakefulness was a dream and the world itself is a dream.
Sri Bendapudi Akkiraju garu asked Mother “Mother, in what class are we?” Mother said, There are no classes here. You are all children. First a child should get used to going to school. Classes and studies come later. To make the child go willingly to school, the mother feeds the child and gives snacks etc. Only later can we think of studies. “Sri G.V said that first the children should be cured of their habits of breaking the slates and wiping out the letters written by the teacher on them.
Then mother put vermilion on our foreheads. I thought that this act may signify the pointing out the ‘Bhrukuti’ (the point of the third eye). But when asked ‘why?’ Mother evaded and said that she was putting the kumkum to ladies and when men asked for it too she was putting vermilion on the foreheads of men also.
Smt. Godavari, sister of Sri Chirala Venkata Rao, began to talk to mother about a pure soul and an impure soul. She gave the analogy of lamp and its shadow. Mother pointed out that there was no shadow over the head of the lamp.
While talking with us sometimes she would suddenly stop and seem to have drifted into a trance. At those times the dark circles under her eyes would disappear and her face would be full of resplendent glow.
After sometime the talk drifted to Smt. Bharathi Devi. Mother recounted how she accompanied Smt. Bharathi garu to the temple of Polimera Anjaneyaswamy (a famous temple of Lord Hanuman in the Guntur District of AP) When she went there to do circumambulations there (Pradakshinas). She recounted how she prepared the Naivedya to Lord Hanuman. She told how she felt that Mother Earth holds everything when she saw clods of mud sticking to the roots of the groundnut plant. She told us how on a person’s hand the picture of Lord Hanuman mysteriously appeared and in that very instant the person saw Mother.
Mother referred to the dropping of the petals from a flower. She pointed out that the petals forcefully removed or twisted away would be either half broken or atleast would carry some mark to show the violent removal. But petals which naturally drop off would show no such marks. She pointed out that renunciation -sanyasa -would carry no marks only when it came naturally, of its own accord.
We were surprised to see the dogs and cats moving together like friends, forgetting their natural enmity and eating leftovers from the same leaf.
When mother went into trances, we heard her speak various languages-Tamil, English, Hindi and several other foreign languages. Sometimes she would scribble in these languages too to our great surprise.
We experienced divine fragrances. We heard Sri Reddy Subbiah narrate how he saw a divine snake and a beautiful glow in Mother’s hut. Sri K.V.N asked Mother about the difference between Asrayam (Shelter) and Asramam (State) and Mother quipped it is ‘Srama’ (Labour-difficulty). (When one takes shelter he could relinquish all his responsibilities to the host: but when one takes up a state of Sanyasa or renunciation one should stick to the rules and practices of that state.)
The talk turned to vibrations. Someone asked what is ‘Rodasi kuharem’ (Center of Cosmos) Mother defined it as the ‘Infinite’ – and first vibration. Another amongst us asked about initiation Mantropadesam’. Why Mrityunjayam? Mother replied that the purpose is to make others share his/her own experience. She recounted how she herself was initiated with ‘Panchamrutham’ as evidence and how the teacher picked out from amongst 32 vegetables the very one that she liked and said that it betokened the teacher’s affection towards the ward.
Sri Bendapudi Akkiraju garu said “we had been to many (gurus) before” Mother said “Why did you get this doubt? Forget it”.
We felt uncomfortable as so many of us were partaking of food and felt it might be troublesome to Father Sri Nageswara Rao garu. Mother said that everyone was partaking his own food and no one else’s. She said that this year’s yield of paddy was more compared to the previous year and it would take care of the additional expenditure.
While we were taking leave, mother said,” To see me you have to come here; but I can see you all from here”
‘Jayaho Matha’
– (To be continued)