[We are indeed privileged to have this Editorial Note from Prof. M. Sivaramkrishna, an erudite scholar and Former Head, Dept. of English, Osmania University, Hyderabad, who acceded to my request and provided us with this write up. We are grateful to him for this gesture – T.S.Sastry]
What sadhana should we do is a question which surfaces in our minds. Even for those who saw Amma, this is a common query. And Amma gave an answer: “Seeing is attaining” (Of course, this is not an answer but the answer!) Remove the ‘is’. Seeing attaining can be easily equated. We can meditate on this free from our notions of deeksha, tapas, etc Meditate so that, that itself becomes an attaining.
How do we decode the word “seeing”? In Telugu we say choodatam or darsinchatam. Is seeing the Mother the same as seeing other things? Sure, it certainly is not. Up to this point we are safe. We know instinctively that seeing Mother is different. In what way is it?
First, I think the reason could be, we are worried about something. And Mother can make the worry disappear. “Just see her! Your worries take flight!” is the advice many give – many devotees give. Nobody needs to tell us, of course, we ourselves run to her. Then the question: will even an “ordinary” mother (there are no ordinary mothers! All are extraordinary!) create worry for her children? No. Suppose she did create. Then, it must be for our good. It appears negative; but creating a worry could be her way of making us keep away, for some time at least, playing with the toys she herself gave. Implicitly, She may be eager to see us often, more than we.
Second, there is not much worry – But we are curious to see what kind of a person she is. “They all say she is an ocean of love! Great to see her!” So let me go and see her. What is there to lose? This reason appears better. But Mother is a deep psychologist. She knows curiosity has another, a real motive. You don’t have worries which threaten you. But you may have the promptings to be considered as Mother’s devotee. Your curiosity arose not on your transparent urge but linked with largely unexamined motives – “I want to write about you, Mother! I need your blessings!” Nothing wrong. But she is prepared to give you more than what you bargained for – Her radiant love.
Third: “whatever you give I take! I don’t have any particular wish or desire!” you say. Very clever. Do you really take, are you manasa, vacha, karmana prepared to take what she gives? Are you ready to get rid of what Sri Ramakrishna called “the rascal ego!”? Surrender to her? Even here, it is very easy to say “Amma’s wish! Who am I to object!”. And yet this is the unripe ego. Amma has no wish to give: She has given everything to you – and that includes everything – all the pairs of opposites, triumphs and tragedies; your health and sickness; your boredom and cruelty, whatever you opt for: for, it is her play!
When this awareness she gives at her own time, in her own way, we have attained her grace. Or else strain as much as you can, no attaining, – alas – even after seeing her on the eve of her advent in March, let us keep linked merrily to the already innate joy and bliss she always radiates! Seeing her has nothing to do with time!