I entered Amma’s room and sat there, to take that Holy Kumkum mark on the forehead which She was kind enough to give me everyday for nearly a couple of years. Before going to Mulukuduru Branch where I was working as Branch Manager, I was in the habit of going to Amma’s room, enjoy that Divine Darshan for sometime, chitchat with her for a while, and leave for the mundane duties on my motorcycle. That day. Ravi Annayya was sitting in front of Amma, obviously with some discomfort and Mother was looking at him pityingly. I could hear Ravi complain that throughout the night he had a headache and could not. sleep for a major part of the night. Mother listened to him, without saying anything, her kind but impassive stare directed at Ravi..
I had to naturally wait. After a minute or so, suddenly Mother turned towards me and asked “You have a headache, don’t you?” I said yes, of course I have a headache. “Always, is it not ?” Again, I had to say yes. In fact, for the previous few years, headache was my constant companion. A dull throbbing pain incessantly existed and I learned to live with it, as if that dull pain was a part of natural existence. Neither I tried to get rid of it, the idea of consulting a doctor never crossed my mind, nor did it occur to me to ask Amma, that dearest Goddess who was pleased to spend so many hours with me in those unforgettable days.
Mother was pleased to put the Kumkum mark on my forehead and I happily left for Mulukuduru. As I was returning from Mulukuduru on my motorcycle the next evening (I was traveling between two villages Poondla and Returu) it suddenly occurred to me that something was missing. Something was amiss somewhere but I could not immediately spot what it was. After some effort, I discovered that my constant companion for the last few years, that headache deserted me and I was alone, feeling light in the head. There was no pain, and that is what I was missing.
Next day morning as I went to take the Kumkum mark, I found. Eka Anjan sitting in Amma’s room, leaning against the wall, a nice smile. on his face. Mother looked at me and asked solicitously, “How is the headache?”
“Mother, it is gone”, I paused for a minute and asked Her earnestly, “Mother, I did not ask you to cure me of the headache. Why did you do this?”
Mother replied at once, without waiting for a split second. “I wanted to remove it, I removed it”. After a minute She added “But you never ask for anything”.
I could not allow that undeserving compliment to pass. I ask Her for everything. I am more dependent on Her than so many other men and women. If I stand in the Bus stand for five minutes and the bus does not arrive immediately, I call her up mentally and complain “Why is this bus not coming?” I always felt I was much more dependent on Her than anyone else, and I also felt I was constantly beseeching Her for something or the other. So in reply, I told Amma, “Mother! We ask for so many things. But you give much more than what is asked for.” Mother drew me into Her lap affectionately.
Whenever I recollect this incident, I recall Amma’s words, “If the child knows what to ask, that shall be granted. If it does not seek anything, what the child needs shall be granted” There is no want in Amma’s presence.
Mother! You are above pain and pleasure, above duality, above. everything. What can we at any time give you, in return? Be kind to us, and give us the opportunity of serving that Holy Land of Jillellamudi on which you tread for so many years.