Marakani Dinakar
Magazine : Mother of All
Language : English
Volume Number : 9
Month : January
Issue Number : 1
Year : 2010

Legend conveys that the inimitable bard Thyagaraja, (a Vaggeyakara – a person who is an accomplished writer, composer and musician is called so) an ardent devotee of Lord Rama visited the Balaji Temple at Tirumala several years ago. During his visit, the idol of Lord Balaji was covered by a curtain, in the traditional manner, for making special offerings to the Lord (offerings of food, nivedana seva).

Thyagaraja’s close disciple was irate at the conventional, ritualistic procedure followed by the temple priests at Tirumala and protested the veiling of the idol when his master visited the sanctum. His preceptor Thyagaraja gently and mildly persuades his disciple, in utter humility, that no one can be deemed an exception to the observance of temple rituals which shall be heeded invariably without exception.

Saying so, overcome by effusive devotion he breaks into the lyric Tera Teeyaga Rada’ spontaneously. He prays to Lord Balaji in this lyric to unveil the curtains of worldly tangles within his mind. Elaborately dwells on the curtains of lust, jealousy, greed and the related distractions of the earthly life which make the being impervious to the divine and its glory.

He elaborates, the species in their scramble for earthly ends often get snared; like the hungry fish trying to gulp the bait, the person about to partake his meal finding a fly in the plate, the herds reaching for food caught in the trap and so on. These worldly lures always impede the beings from beholding the light of the divine. While Thyagaraja was rendering this song in the sanctum, the curtain yielded and dropped off by itself without any human intervention. Everyone present in the sanctum was awestruck.

This legend, apart from the divine essence that is timeless and infinite, though all over tends to be elusive in our obsession with earthly ends. To be realistic these worldly cares are inevitable and shall be contained within the sanctions or needs of earthly life with little attachment. Otherwise these lesser cares make the mind. opaque to the point that the person is oblivious of the everlasting divine essence and god’s radiance.

Strangely, despite this awareness among some few, we find them incapable of breaking themselves free to get in touch with the divine and gain an awareness of the truth. These filters are dense, traditionally construed as the veil of ‘maya’ that cannot be permeated by one’s own effort. In effect, the godly aspect, which is infinite and ever present, tends to be elusive.

Despite some positive inclination in this direction, this as experience suggests cannot be a bootstrap operation on the part of the individual to reach the divine. For concealed are the ways of GOD, who alone shall condescend to yield the access to make the subject realize the truth.

AMMA said “Maruge Na Vidhanam” meaning in English “Concealed are My ways”. In spite of the person’s longing to attain the awareness or access to the divine, the veil of worldly obsession shall not give way in the normal mode ordinarily.

This removal of the veil of ignorance cannot be overt and physical. When the yearning for truth is intense on the part of the subject and the divine volition too is inclined so and responds, this can happen only at the level of consciousness. The process shall be an internal, personal, mystic experience difficult to capture in the verbal medium and put it across.

In the year 1979, while residing in the first floor of the MMC (Matrusri Medical Center) building in Jillellamudi, this mystic experience was graciously bestowed on me almost unawares, or like a chance happening, at a very ordinary, unexpected moment. I was getting down the staircase and was listening to an intense devotional lyric that was coming over in the air, very melodiously sung by the noted playback singer S.P. Balasubramaniam, which rented the air, wafted over the ambience through a loudspeaker. While listening to this lyric on Lord Siva, my mind was captivated for an instant, almost unknowingly. I felt someone pulled my mind for a moment or in an instant, that could not be tracked.

At that poignant moment, a mystic experience was granted in which a gesture was observed within that a veil was lifted or for a brief while a curtain was drawn aside deep within. This prompted the suggestion of the meaning of this lyric within me or the spirit of this lyric was impressed. From then on the awareness has heightened and intensified. Closely in its wake, several experiences were received within the consciousness which in some degree inexplicably was enhanced.

Later on the life situation has changed and was deeply inducted in to the activities of the Parishat and the intrinsic life of Jillellamudi. The role was to bow at AMMA’S feet daily, receive the instructions and comply with the same, very much till the mid 1980s.

In course of such routine, I was entrusted with the upkeep of the Jillellamudi premises, which fortunately included AMMA’S personal chambers atop the ‘House of All’, which is the present day ‘Vatsalyalayam’. While attending to these duties, AMMA’S AC room needed curtains at times. It was my duty to bring the furnishing fabric from Hyderabad, whenever I visited the city on the Parishat work.

To recall fondly, usually DCM or Bombay Dyeing fabric of elder Sister Vasundhara’s (Akkaiah’s) choice was brought for making these curtains for doors and windows of AMMA’S room. To shield the room from the warm sunlight that was almost regular, thick curtains were placed or preferred.

Thus bringing and placing these curtains to AMMA’S room for me is like reinstating the veils within. In the sense, the awareness that germinated within from the earlier experience was reined in by AMMA, regulated and given direction in tune with the necessity of chores at Jillellamudi.

To be more precise, my consciousness and awareness were conditioned to my functional needs at Jillellamudi. Much more of these mystic processes shall be conveyed later on if opportunity affords.

The inherent essence is that the ordinary living at Jillellamudi and doing the regular routine chores of AMMA may hold the key to the perception of the timeless truth and infinite reality, unawares or even so unwittingly. Any task or service at Jillellamudi tends to be out of the ordinary, which could help the seeker to heighten his awareness of the eternal and eventually may induce the perception of the divine.

For AMMA said – “Saadhyamayyinde Saadhana”. To elaborate spiritual pursuit or quest for the seeker is only what is possible to him. This may involve or be contained in diligently performing such chores that come up to him within his domain or daily routine, with an attitude of service to the divine MOTHER.

Ever merciful AMMA condescends to unfold the access to the timeless truth and the divine grace takes over verily at an opportune moment for the earnest aspirant.

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