Every new born enters this world with a shrill cry. Thus, the child is released from the closed cocoon of the mother’s womb. He is exposed to the outside world and tries to adjust to the atmospheric pressure. If such a cry is not heard, there is always a doubt whether the child is still born. Truly, the first cry brought him into this world. Initiates
As time moves on the child grows and he is confined by the worldly bondages, sensuous lures and what not. Underneath all this frenzy, despite the worldly attractions, passing rather fleeting joys and all the sorrow and grief too lurk, to which the person is exposed. He is stung by the inevitable dualities of this earth. Presumably, this is the reason the wise, aware (or the jnanis) consider this very birth to be grief stricken, the real source, cause of sorrow. Such persons crave for release from this world and its bondages.
Such strife for liberation from this mundane trapping is verily not the general trend. Most others, rather the large masses are obsessed with the earthly pursuits and deeply involved in the struggle for acquisitions and material gains. AMMA never drew a line between such a minority of seekers and the vast worldly majority. Equally embraced both caring for them as HER endearing children.
Under this dual categorization, this humble self fits into neither in the correct sense, viewed from this perspective. Yet my links to AMMA and Mannava, the birthplace of AMMA run into the earlier generations, the greater past, say the early part of the twentieth century which I realized after my entry into Jillellamudi.
To recapture the past, my paternal grandfather worked as the Overseer, at Mannava regulating the canal waters during British rule. This necessitated my father and all staying in Mannava. This residential time in Mannava, brought my father and Raghavarao Mamaiah (uncle) AMMA’S elder brother together with ties of close friendship between both. As some and even Andari Mamayya, (deemed the uncle of all, Andari Mamayya) SriM.L.N.Rao, convey the same message that my father, Raghavarao Mamayya, both were chums indulging in boyhood mischief too.
Raghavarao Mamayya survived my father. He used to closely observe my working in the SVJP OFFICE, during his last days. These are the physical details of the early links with Mannava, in our previous two generations, with my being the entrant, rather incumbent from the third generation in these early ties with Mannava, as also with AMMA’S family. Sometimes, I believe this is the background of my placement in Jillellamudi by AMMA.
This apart, the earliest leaning toward the ‘Para’ domain that is the spiritual link has also been sourced from Mannava. In his boyhood days suffered some skin ailments for which cure by sacred chant (manthra) has been suggested. To recall, in the very same line in Arundelpet of the Guntur town, in the first house one old blind Brahmin lady of Mannava used to reside. I was led into her presence.
This grand old lady initiated me with the mantra on the SUN GOD which is a virtual one liner. She also gave me an amulet to be worn on the body. Normally said such amulets shall not be opened and seen by the subject. Yet out of boyish curiosity opened the same and saw the contents. It was made of copper and the very same chant which is given to me is engraved on a thin copper foil placed within and the amulet closed from the outside. This rendering of the solar manthra, rather the one liner, has been continued by me for quite some time, say five, six years. This was done without attaching any significance nor awareness of the intrinsic essence, the meaning.
As I was advancing in my boyhood and school studies, my paternal grandmother who had also been a resident of Mannava, lady of learning and letters, well versed in the scriptures gave me a four-line stanza extolling Lord Hanuman seeking grace for imbibing the virtues needed to be a good human being. This also has continued till my reaching the teens.
After many vicissitudes, in the mid 1964 was about to join the master’s Course in the Varsity. At this stage, I happened to read a small book on Pranayama, its varieties and the beneficial impact of each practice authored by Swami Sivananda, published by the Divine Life Society.
This book reads so simple, as if everything was made quite easy with a number of benefits to the practitioner. Of all the varieties given there, choose ‘Sitkari Pranayama’ for practice. To recall the recipe in this practice is that of self- confidence and self-improvement which took me deeply. This was on my own. Never had any instruction, nor instructor or any conventional Guru.
Having started in 1964, it continued till the year 1968 for well over four years continuously. Personally, I felt exceedingly good, intellectually very sharp and stimulating to the point that many subjects could be picked up by me with great ease even understanding the intricacies of each. The body felt noticeably slight, with a light step, managing with minimal food. There was a general feeling of wellbeing with a remarkably high level of motivation in whatever is being done or attempted. The keynote or accent of this practice, Sitkari Pranayam, was self-competence, or self confidence which could unwittingly border conceit.
After the close of the first quarter in the year 1968, while I was sitting in the lawn and moving around in the North Avenue, Delhi, felt a small dip within which slided down from the throat to the sacral plexus (mooladhara). This descent within had been gentle and painless. Could witness the same afforded by my inner vision which opened, rather experienced for the first time.
After a couple of days I began to feel out of sorts or somewhat nervous for the first time though apparently, I seemed all right. Yet continued my pursuits of those times with a strong will and confidence. One senior doctor, a friend of my study mate, opined that it could be some sort of neurosis or nervous problem. Even so, I continued all my activities taking some medicine which was more like a placebo.
Yet I was fully aware that within not at my absolute best, the super self, role model that I had been all the while since the previous years, that is 1964 till then. Despite all this inner struggle, I never lessened my activities and took part in all the academic and competitive activities as usual. This fall in my spiritual advancement synchronized with HYMA’S consecration at Jillellamudi, which was understood later. Thoughts of Jillellamudi though could not be connected to the source chanced to pass through in my mind.
Somehow I could understand this is not a physical ailment but of a spiritual cause in not having proper instruction or guidance for my spiritual practice of ‘Sitkari Pranayama’ which hit a roadblock and brought the fall. So, I thought that the remedy too shall be sought in the spiritual awareness or domain.
– (to be continued)