She fractured her left hand sometime back. She got it bandaged and it healed. The plaster was removed. Then, strangely, she broke her right hand, too. She came to Mother. Unable to touch her feet with her hands, She did it with her head. The sight was pitiable to those around. What bad luck! One after the other, both the hands.
Gajendramma, that was her name, was visibly annoyed. And with scarcely concealed annoyance asked, demanded almost: “Mother! put the bottu” Asking as if stridently demanding, was her nature. Perhaps, Mother’s children come in all shapes and sizes. With all kinds of desires, if not demands. They assume generally rightly so that She is our Mother, therefore she can take anything in her stride.
Mother must have been amused. Kids who are kids are bound to behave like kids. And who else is there to target their annoyance, resentment, anger! These, Mother knows, are ripples, not even waves. And they hardly make any difference in the vast cosmic ocean of her compassion, of love. “But why the bottu now? You are not leaving now, I suppose!” asked Mother.
“I am leaving! for my village”
One imagines (those of us who only read about this incident) how Mother must have appeared. A twinkle of laughter and amusement must have flashed in those eyes which witness all, without witnessing anything.
“Certainly not. Who will look after you there? Stay on…” said Mother.
If bottu is benediction, symbol of her protection, how come Amma refused and asked Gajendramma to stay on? The fracture, resentment, decision to leave: all are the tips of a huge iceberg of revelation. Mother is a perfect Designer of events and the events are of multiple significance. All meant to draw our attention again and again, to the fact that She is our Mother!
Another scene within the cosmic “act” unrolled itself.
“They are all mocking me! Your Amma makes you serve her – as long as needed and then fractures your hands!” complained Gajendramma.
Mother listened and kept silent. Because the “bad blood” has to be squeezed out, purged from Gajendramma.
“They said that, did they?” asked Mother.
“More than that the hospital people say something much worse”
The silence continued. Mother knew that the act was “unfolding” exactly as she “infolded” it:
“The doctors say: You all rush here with broken arms and fractured limbs. Your Mother cannot do anything… don’t you know that?”
Like a gentle flash of lightning, Mother’s response: “It’s true, Gajendramma. You should have told the hospital
people: Yes Mother is incompetent to do anything”. Saying “the truth won’t hurt me!”
Poor Gajendramma burst into tears. And Mother laughed, a subdued, serene, scarcely perceptible, but radiant laughter. Laughter, smile that suffuse her divine frame and commune, rather than communicate.
“You tell them it happened out of my grace, my compassion!” Mother said.
“Compassion? You want me to believe that?”
Gajendramma almost shouted with evident disbelief.
“Yes. Out of compassion only He bestows mirth and misery, joy and grief. In whatever way we do a thing we do it according to his ‘design’. Compassion and grace are only words for the ways in which He gets His acts executed…
Difficult to believe? But no one need worry or become uneasy
that one is losing faith. The reason is so simple:
“What is the reason for faith?” Someone asked.
“The same for not having faith!” said Mother.
And much more “pungently” she said (in another context):
“For falling, not falling and even when falling, not getting injured for everything there is only one reason”
Mother’s grace and compassion. That does the tricks of a dualistic world. We think (made to think) that we are puppets. But as sage “Sri Ram” said “We are Her pups and pets!” We throw a child up in fun but catch it again: The hands which threaten to throw the child in mid air (and frighten it) are the same. when they catch the child. If the child falls? Where will it fall except in Her lap?
But the question remains: did Gajendramma and the people who disturbed her, find their faith restored? The answer is outside our purview. It is Mother’s job: Whose faith to sustain and whose to stifle and smother. (And in that “Who is who” ours may be the first names to figure!)
Gajendra Mma: the very name rings a bell. One recalls “Gajendra moksha”. The crocodile catches the elephant and Vishnu comes to save Gajendra. But, as sage Sri Ram says: if only Gajendra knew that even the crocodile and its act were His own design, Vishnu wouldn’t have come down, rushing, from Vaikuntha (Incidentally, Vaikuntha has also the meaning of a space where maya does not operate!)
Finally, the immense truth, a truth so immense that we find it hard to believe is luminously pointed out by Bhagawan Ramana. A seeker asked.
“What is God?”
Ramana remained silent. For quite some time. Then came the answer so shatteringly, incredibly simple:
“What is, is God!”
If you like you can paraphrase: “Whatever is, is God!” And that means: “is Amma, Mother of all”.
(With gratitude to Sri K. Ramakrishna whose “Matru Samhita” is the basic source for this).