A seeker came to have Mother’s darshan. In the afternoon he told Mother: “I am searching for a guru. But I couldn’t find one. They say that liberation is not possible without a guru”. Mother, then, asked him: “what do you want? Why is a guru needed?” Then the following conversation took place.
Seeker I am longing intensely for supreme knowledge, for sadhana, for a guru.
Mother Mind itself is the guru.
Seeke : I am struggling. But my mind is not steady. It is fickle.
Mother: True. Even near the guru there is only fickleness.
Seeker : I can’t follow what you are saying.
Mother: What you are feeling is that you want a guru who steadies the mind. But, then, what directs (moves) the mind itself is the guru only.
Seeker : It is only that guru I am searching for, I want to have.
Mother: You don’t understand. The guru is none other than the one which is giving you all these thoughts. That itself is your mentor. That itself is directing you.
The seeker, after a moment’s reflection, said:
“Grant me Mother’s love. That’s enough.”
He touched Mother’s feet and left.
(Conversations No. 84)
The conversation is both timely and revelatory. Timely because there are innumerable gurus today. Some promise even instant nirvana. “Get initiated and instant illumination is guaranteed”. But few want what guru’s upadesa really gives : freedom and joy. See what the seeker in this context wants : Jnana which requires sadhana and a guru who directs the sadhana.
Thus, the conversation is, at this level, the common faith that once a guru is found, all is well. OK we find a guru. He or She directs us to do this or that. Do we get the necessary state of mind which cooperates and coordinates sadhana? Mother hits the nail on the head: Mind itself is the guru. In other words, there are two gurus – if we can put it that way. The guru the seeker is looking for and the mind which is the real crux. But the seeker privileges the mantra guru (let us say) and takes for granted that the manasa guru (his/her own mind) will follow the guru’s instructions. Even, says Mother, when you are in the very tranquil presence of the guru, our mind can be in turmoil.
We now take the hint: there is the fond belief that the guru (as a special person) steadies the mind and performs the miracle of ekagrata: one pointedness. Therefore, the logic would be: the disciple assumes that his mind is fickle, getting all kinds of thoughts. To steady it you require a guru. Mother points to the reality: what operates the mind itself is the guru.
Let us now assume that Amma is the guru and the visitor is the seeker. Amma is telling the seeker a transparent truth: “you don’t understand”. This applies to almost all seekers. We listen but don’t follow. Or, we understand in a manner – our guru’s words – which is congenial to our bent of mind. The profound truth that the steady, clear mind itself directs our sadhana, is our guru really is difficult to comprehend. It is not comfortable. For most of us sadhana follows the indirect method of taxation. Let us shift the taxation to the guru. He or she will look after everything!
Then, should we end on a note of despair and hopelessness? Mother is compassionate. She knows the tricks of our mind (my mind, at least, if you don’t mind). Therefore, she makes the seeker ask for something which cancels all logic of guru, mind etc. “Grant me your love. That’s enough.” The mantra deeksha of love is irresistible, infallible. Love is what engulfs disorders of all kinds. When Mother grants it (you need not ask), perhaps, we may even dispense with all dikshas.
Remember Amma asks in the very beginning “what do you want?” can we dare to say “we want only your love?”. Getting her love and sustaining it is more of a maddening miracle (divya unmada) than getting a guru. I hope you agree.