from the Diaries of late Sri R Ramachandra Rao
That night (8.1.1958), after dinner, Mother once again referred to the conversation between her and Rajamma Bamma garu and reiterated that initiation is to give others the same enjoyment that they had experienced with Panchamrita (liquid made up of five products – milk, curd, ghee, sugar and honey) as evidence. On hearing this, it is but natural for us to hope that mother might also give us such an experience one day.
While narrating the past events mother would use ‘avinabhava sambandham’ (in correlated events: feeling of one without another. At the same time there is a play on the words. Avi – na – bhava – sambandham – they are related to my thoughts. Perhaps Mother is referring to the fact that she is making everything happen according to her will and volition.
For the second time (after visiting Amma) Sri P Subbarao garu asked, “Mother, when will these bags leave us?” Mother replied, “When what you have gathered leaves you” (sanchita). Afterwards while talking about motherhood she said that the feeling of Motherhood should get fixed not only in her case but in every woman. If one follows his own “dharma” till then time would take care of this, she said.
Afterwards Mother while explaining Kundalini showed us an orange. She peeled it and said that though the Orange had outer skin, flesh, pips etc, still, there was a small hole from the bottom to the top. Similarly in the body and head the nerve centers and the Sahasrara are connected by a fine hole. She explained Chaitanya and said “wind could move our hair: it could move palm leaves on the trees and could uproot trees and could cause even
earthquakes. When the air is full in the body, the vibration within is chaitanya,” she said. Someone questioned her about Hatha Yoga. At that time she was drinking a soda (aerated water). She took the bottle as an example and explained that the glass ball in the bottle would be closing the mouth of the bottle due to air pressure and would fall down after the release of pressure. In the same way hatha yoga due to building up air pressure could keep the pressure for some time, but one would fall down again; she explained.
The same night the daughter of Sri Brahmaiah garu and another girl gave a music recital. Some one came from Upputur and accompanied them on Mridangam (drums). That night and next morning he performed puja to Mother.
Next day at noon, we all gathered around Mother. Mother seemed to be in a trance. Just then we heard a call “Amma ” from the western side bamboo curtain. Immediately Mother opened her eyes and enquired whether any of us called her. We said “no”. Mother once again seemed to enter into her trance. We surmised. that perhaps someone sought her help and that Mother might have gone to her rescue (spiritually). But Mother never told us neither then nor to this date, who called her or why she had gone. But it gave us an opportunity to know that our call would immediately reach Mother and her protection would reach us instantaneously.
13.01.1958: Every year, in Chirala, a Music Festival honoring Sri Thiagaraja Swamy would be organized. Sri Chirala Venkata Rao garu planned to invite and bring Mother to the Festival. In the past, he invited and brought Sri Sri Sri Mouna Swami and Sri Sri Sri Pasumalai Swamy to these Festivals. At that time, he allowed only those with his permission only to meet them. He planned to do likewise this time too. He spread word that Mother gave her consent to visit Chirala. So, people from Chirala, one by one met Mother and expressed their opinions. Sri B Akkiraju and others requested Mother to visit the houses of all devotees in Chirala, if she came to Chirala. Mother replied that there were so many people in Chirala – not only those who visited Jillellamudi but those who could not come too and so she should go to their houses too.
These functions would be organized more or less on the lines of public meetings. So, some said that though they provide a good platform for speeches and concerts, it might not be a suitable occasion for Mother to visit Chirality as Mother. Yet others doubted whether Nannagaru (Sri B. Nageswara Rao garu) would give his permission. Some thought that Nannagaru might give his assent only when he made sure that everyone had great faith in Mother. However her trip did not materialize. But Sri Gangaraju Venkateswara Rao garu gave a recital of Mother’s songs. Sri M. Buchiraju Sarma garu too came to Chirala. Sri Kasi Krishnamacharyulu garu who presided over was overwhelmed with joy on hearing the songs and desired to meet the poet. But Sri Raju politely declined saying that he never thought that he wrote the poems (the implied meaning is that he thought Mother made him utter them). From Jillellamudi, though Mother did not come, Sri Palaparthi Krishnaiah, Subba Rao, Ravi, Reddi Subbaiah, Kanakamma Bamma garu etc. attended and felt happy with the arrangements. After the conclusion of the festival some started criticizing Sri Chirala Venkata Rao garu. Next time when we all went to Mother, as if answering the criticisms, Mother said that it was foolish to criticize others and it would be wise to introspect and to criticize oneself. It is in this context that Mother gave the definition for Samadhi: Samadhi meant equality.